We all know how this ends.

We have been asked to write about a new book,  ‘We all know how this ends’ by end of life doula Anna Lyons and progressive funeral director Louise Winter. It was published yesterday by Bloomsbury and celebrated with virtual tea and cake in a moving, inspiring Zoom session last night.

Our thoughts?

 

Buy it. Today.

 

That’s it.

Honestly.

This beautiful book should be on every bookshelf in every home in the country. It should be in every library, in every hospice, in every doctors’ surgery, in every workplace. It should be handed out to anyone when they are given a terminal diagnosis, offered to everyone facing life changing illness, shared and shared and shared again.

Once you have read it, you will want to buy it for your friends too, and for anyone you know whose life is touched by the knowledge that we are all going to die.

Everyone who reads it will find something empowering, comforting and wise within the pages, something that will help change the way you think about dying and death and funerals and bereavement. It’s a treasure trove of nuggets of beauty, woven together by expert hands who want to share what they have learned with us all.

We know Anna and Louise well and admire their work at Life. Death. Whatever. tremendously. They are dear friends and strong advocates of the Good Funeral Guide, and their wise, gentle voices take you through the book, weaving stories and thoughts and insight that they have collected from the many, many people they have worked with.

This book is a collective call for change, a sharing of experience, of heartbreak and tears and humour and wit and wisdom. It’s inspirational and informative, written by real people who want you to know what they’ve learned.

Buy it now. You need to read it.

Funeral Link

 

There’s a tremendously interesting publication from the University of Dundee by researcher Ruth Bickerton and Dr. Carlo Morelli which we’ve been reading over the last few days.  It came out earlier this year, and is called Funeral Poverty in Dundee – Funeral Link Evaluation. It’s about Funeral Link, a charity set up to address the problem of funeral poverty in Dundee.

The report is a comprehensive evaluation of the project in its initial phase of existence, which makes fascinating reading. It is a thorough analysis of the need for such an independent, informed advocacy service with a specific goal of helping people who are struggling with funeral costs. Other local authorities might like to make this required reading for their decision makers.

In analysis of the impact of Funeral Link, one of the stakeholders quoted the need for this funeral advice as being ‘essential’. They went on to say ‘There’s a stigma about saying you don’t have the money for a funeral. With Funeral Link you can go anonymously for advice and sign-posting, and get an idea of what your options are, and what they might cost.’

Along with analysing the effects of the existence of Funeral Link, the report also offers an analysis of the process and the current funeral market.

It’s worth a read even if you’re not responsible for the purse strings of a local authority budget. Some extracts below:

2.3i Need Recognition

“One level of uncertainty comes in the form of information asymmetry between the next of kin and the funeral director. This takes a number of forms: first the consumer is making decisions at a time of significant stress and cognitive dissonance. Grief and emotional distress limit the ability to process and evaluate information. Next of kin are thus uncertain as to the exact nature of the funeral director’s role and the funeral director’s role itself can be multi-faceted and ambiguous in three distinct areas.

First, in ensuring statutory requirements are followed by the next of kin, involving complying with the legal requirement that is to dispose of a deceased’s remains. Second, they also have a sales role. A funeral director is a direct service provider, involving the provision of services on behalf of the next of kin in the maintenance, care and movement of the deceased. In this sales role they additionally act as an intermediary sales organisation supplying services of third party providers such as booking slots at crematoria or burial grounds, ordering flowers, organising post-funeral receptions or placing notices in newspapers. A funeral director’s third and final act is to provide counselling, advisory and even advocacy activities. Funeral directors provide counselling and comfort, listening to the next of kin and guiding them in decision making, through a one-to-one meeting to make the arrangements. Funeral directors also provide advisory information and signposting to next of kin for their bereavement journey and, finally, they provide advocacy functions with regulatory bodies such as the NHS, police or the Department for Work and Pensions, via the completion of formal applications for means-tested Social Fund Funeral Expenses Payments SF200.

The ambiguity within the funeral director/next of kin relationship facilitates both the development of information asymmetry in the contracting between parties but also the prospect of moral hazard in the potential abuse of the power relationship arising from these information asymmetries. Moral hazard can be understood as consumers making decisions detrimental to their wellbeing due to an inability to distinguish between the elements of the funeral director’s counselling, advisory and advocacy functions. There is the potential for what economists regard as opportunism in the contracting and price setting environment, as consumers’ preferences are revealed in advance to funeral directors revealing their price elasticities, allowing for the potential emergence of price discrimination and individualised pricing.” 

 

2.4 The Funeral Market

“The funeral market has distinct and related properties which distinguish it from other markets for services and explain why it is difficult for the market to operate as other markets would be expected to operate. The fixed nature of demand and the oligopolistic nature of competition together increase the potential for market failure leading to consumers paying higher costs than might otherwise occur.

In most consumer markets a reduction in price would be expected to increase the consumption of the service. This is not the case for funerals. Demand for funeral services is what economists would understand as inelastic and changes in price therefore do not impact on the quantity demanded within a market. The consequence for the supply of funerals and competition is thus that, for entry of new producers into the market to occur (or alternatively for existing firms to cut prices) the only change would be for existing demand to be redistributed among the producers of funeral services. Market competition in this environment is what many would understand to be a zero sum game.

Attempts to influence the timing of purchases for funeral services occurs through pre-payment and funeral plans, in order to bring forward income to firms, but this cannot alter the absolute market size for funerals. Market size is influenced, and predictable, by the demographics and life expectancy of the population as a whole and therefore of a relatively fixed size with the consequence that entry into the market by new producers has historically been discouraged.”

 

“The funeral director’s role has remained relatively static for many years. Whilst the funeral directors’ origins can be found in the associated activities of carpenters and woodworking companies or garage owners, many of today’s funeral directors are specialist organisations with greater or lesser degrees of investment in specific assets. While buildings can be changed in function, the backroom facilities in cold rooms and refrigeration, funeral limousines and hearses are not easily adapted for alternative uses. Thus the industry itself has been relatively static for many years with little innovation. From the established funeral directors’ perspective, while the dominant duopolistic firms of Dignity and the Co-Op set high prices, smaller firms can adjust their prices at a small discount to those set by these two firms. Smaller firms’ concerns lie not with the actions of the larger dominant firms but with the potential for entry by smaller, and less well-equipped firms. Thus, the low-cost unregulated sector provides a threat to the continued success of established firms and therefore the dominant view presented by the smaller chains and independent firms was to favour regulation conditionally on the basis that the levels were neither set too high nor that the regulatory minima were applied selectively and low cost entrants could avoid regulation.”

There’s lots more, but we felt that the thorough understanding of the funeral process and sector outlined in the report was worth highlighting. 

Conclusion? We need more Funeral Links. Lots of them. Advocates for bereaved people acting as intermediaries and advisors would make a massive difference to people around the UK struggling to afford a funeral.

Well done Linda and team, and the board of Funeral Link trustees overseeing this venture. 

Five Things

Our friends over at Life. Death. Whatever have created an extraordinary movement that is inspiring people around the world who follow them on social media.

Five Things is a collection of five things that LDW collaborators want people to know about life, death and everything in between. Since the launch earlier this month, the LDW posts on Twitter and Instagram have attracted a huge following.

As Louise and Anna (the two forces of nature who co-curate LDW) explain, “We need to talk and let each other know what helps, what doesn’t help, what we want and what we don’t want. Sharing best practice, sharing ideas, sharing stories, sharing lessons, sharing experiences.”

Some of the posts have been extraordinary, some heartbreaking, some informative, all inspiring. The authors of contributions range from leading practitioners in end of life care, through professionals working with those who have died and bereaved people, to individuals sharing the things they learned through personal experience of grief.

We were delighted to be invited to send in our ‘Five Things’, which you can find here, sitting alongside contributions from many of the people we most admire in funeralworld.

Among these, a number of GFG Recommended funeral directors have offered their ‘Five Things’. You can see thoughts from Lucy Coulbert (The Individual Funeral Companyhere, from the team at Poppy’s Funerals here,  from Sarah Jones (Full Circle Funeralshere and from Toby Angel (Sacred Stoneshere.

If you would like to contribute your own ‘Five Things’ then e-mail Anna and Louise at submissions@lifedeathwhatever.com.

And if you’d like to follow the project as it evolves, then follow Life. Death. Whatever. on their various social media platforms using the hashtag #FiveThings

Five Things will culminate in an event in central London in October – we’ll definitely be there to see the installation in its full glory.

Lifting the lid on coffin prices

 

These are turbulent times in the world of funerals, and we were delighted to hear last week of another innovative idea – a funeral director prepared to offer EXACTLY the same coffins that your friendly high street (corporate) undertaker has in their range, at a realistic price!

Gone are the breathtaking markups that you might find in the same friendly high street (corporate) undertakers, here are the coffins that you can find in pretty much every FD’s range, fully compliant with stringent requirements being applied by many crematoria, transparently priced and available for rapid delivery within England, Wales and Scotland.

What we love about this is that anyone making funeral arrangements can challenge the price being charged by their friendly high street (corporate) undertaker, simply by asking them why, for example, the EXACT SAME coffin can be purchased from Coffinbooker.com for half the price quoted in the glossy coffin brochure in front of them.

Until now, coffins supplied by the main suppliers to the funeral trade have not been available directly to the public. Good undertakers will charge a reasonable handling charge on top of the trade price they pay for these coffins, others have seen an opportunity to whack the price up by many hundreds – and in some cases thousands – of pounds. The unsuspecting bereaved person sitting in the arranging room rarely has any idea of the mark up applied. Now, with one fell swoop, the realistic prices of around a hundred styles of coffins can be clearly seem by anyone caring to take a look.

Coffinbooker.com is the brainchild of Colin Liddell, long time friend and supporter of the Good Funeral Guide and one of our recommended funeral directors. Here he is in his own words:

‘ Selling coffins direct to the public. This is not a new concept. My grandfather supplied coffins in the 1930s to families before the advent of funeral directors and the umbrella approach adopted to take all of the aspects – bad and good – beyond the control of the family.

My name is Colin Liddell; I am hardly an outsider to the funeral industry having served the bereaved in one way or another my entire working life. I hold funeral directing qualifications (you may be interested to learn that many funeral directors do not, as the industry is unregulated). This is my first stab at a blog, so I do hope you enjoy reading about my journey. 

In 2003, I hosted the first ever public coffin exhibition in Belsay Hall, in rural Northumberland. It began a conversation which is still being held today. At the time the theme was transparency and choice. The conversation has now evolved to empowerment and addressing funeral poverty.

In 2018, there is now a shift towards direct cremations, death cafés, home funerals, soul midwives, the Good Funeral Guide, choice and value and these ideas are beginning to gain traction.

In supply terms, many major coffin companies have to address economies of scale and to deal with the public directly is not an option for them. This gives rise to a situation where many excellent – and would be first choice coffins –  become out of reach for the average family due to, in some cases price mark-ups of many hundreds of pounds. 

In my daily life I am a funeral director and have made a point of not inflating coffin prices as I have confidence in my service and care and charge for that instead. The logical extension of this has become coffinbooker.com.

The distinction is that I am in a position to offer trade and industry standard coffins, with the latest and best environmental credentials direct to the public. Not shoddy ersatz items which in some cases are not even fit for purpose.

Mine is not a new or unique idea, but my USP is that where available I only sell FSC or FFMA approved coffins or caskets, this I believe makes me unique. I am supplying the kind of coffins and caskets undertakers use – and trust their reputations on. There is much innovation in the industry and hopefully as I see things I like, I shall add to the 100 or so different types or styles on offer. 

I have launched the venture with no expectations other than to provide choice and change. It will stand or fall by the courage of the people following the ample guidance on respected internet sources – The Good Funeral Guide naturally being the most informative – regarding families looking after their loved-ones themselves.

My new venture is simple. To deliver the best that is out there and a fraction of current retail price with a complete choice at a one stop shop. You don’t buy a coffin everyday – why buy an everyday coffin? Let’s keep the conversation going.

Thanks for the opportunity,

Colin

 

 

 

The ‘What To Do With The Ashes’ Award 2017

            Toby Angel from Sacred Stones Ltd.

Introduced for the first time in 2017, this category had six shortlisted candidates, all of whom offer alternative solutions to the perennial question of what to do with the ashes.

The runner up in this category was chosen for their personal involvement and artistry in creating bespoke funerary urns with input from families, resulting in unique and beautiful creations.

The winner was chosen for the extraordinary achievement and collaboration between those behind the venture, the master craftsmanship involved, the philosophy that has been so well replicated and the extraordinarily beautiful result.

The Winner is Sacred Stones Ltd with the stone barrow at Willow Row

Runner Up – Ann Bates of Ann Bates Ceramics

 

Award photograph by Jayne Lloyd

The 2017 Good Funeral Awards were generously sponsored by Greenfield Creations

 

 

Best Modern Funeral Director 2017

The team at Full Circle Funerals

Another category attracting many strong nominations and entries, the title of Best Modern Funeral Director reflects a growing change in the funeral sector to a more contemporary approach to funeral arrangements.

The judges looked at all aspects of the companies that were shortlisted including their online presence, and were very impressed by all the candidates.

One of the runners up was chosen for their innovative and holistic approach to funeral directing, and their successful establishment in the community where they work. The other was chosen for their fresh and community focused approach and their modernising take on traditional undertaking.

The winner was chosen in acknowledgement of the extensive research and planning carried out before opening, the care and thought that went into the ethos and the ‘look’ of the business, and the dogged persistence and belief in what they are doing in an area dominated by traditional style funeral directors which is now paying off as they continue to succeed.

The Winner of Best Modern Funeral Director is – Full Circle Funerals

Runners Up – Dandelion Farewells and Bewley & Merrett

 

Category sponsor – The Natural Death Centre Charity

The 2017 Good Funeral Awards were generously sponsored by Greenfield Creations

Most Promising New Funeral Business 2017

Allistair Anderson from Compassionate Funerals

This category attracted a number of strong entries, with 11 finalists ranging from traditional to more unconventional businesses. The judges believe that it is essential that any future regulation of the funeral industry does not place barriers in the way of newcomers, as it is the emergence of new innovative thinking about how to do funerals that is driving the funeral sector forward.

There are two runners up in this category, both successful start-up businesses by funeral directors who have worked for large companies and wanted to have a more personal, involved and reactive role.

The winner was selected for their unique, contemporary, open and bespoke approach, their professionalism balanced with creativity and compassion, blending to give a fresh new approach to undertaking.

In their own words;

It is clearly important that we keep our service flexible, adaptable, creative and truly meet the needs of our client, rather than giving a blueprint of what we think that a funeral should be and look like.’

Winner – Compassionate Funerals

Runners Up – Crescent Funeral Services and O’Dwyer Funeral Directors

 

Award photograph by Jayne Lloyd

The 2017 Good Funeral Awards were generously sponsored by Greenfield Creations

Most Eco-Friendly Funeral Director 2017

           Andrew Leverton of Leverton & Sons

The funeral world is not known for being overly environmentally friendly, with large hearses and limousines travelling slowly to the place of committal. It is heartening therefore for there to be entries in this category, albeit with only four finalists.

The runner up in this category uses earth friendly coffins only, everyday transport rather than a hearse, and garden sourced flowers rather than imported shop bought arrangements.

The winner of the most eco-friendly funeral director is addressing the issue of reducing emissions in the industry in a number of ways, through digitalizing their company procedures as much as possible, providing information online to reduce print costs, and perhaps most importantly through their development introduction and regular use of their Eco hearse and accompanying family car.

By leading the way for traditional funeral directors to think innovatively about their carbon footprint, this company deserves to be applauded and widely recognised.

The Winner is Leverton & Sons

Runner Up – Woodland Wishes

 

Award photograph by Jayne Lloyd

The 2017 Good Funeral Awards were generously sponsored by Greenfield Creations

Standing ovation at The Good Funeral Awards

 

The former editor of the GFG, Louise Winter, brought the packed room at Porchester Hall to their feet at the close of the 2017 Good Funeral Awards with a powerful emotional tribute to the late Jon Underwood.

Everyone present joined in a standing ovation in recognition of Jon’s pioneering work in starting the Death Cafe movement, and in honour of the memory of an unassuming, gentle man who was an example to us all.

Jon’s sister, Jools Barsky, bravely took to the stage to accept the award for Outstanding Contribution to Society on Jon’s behalf in an emotional ending to this year’s honours list.

In response to a number of requests, we are proud to share Louise’s words with you below.

On Tuesday 27th June, Jon Underwood did not pass away; he died – that difference in wording is an important distinction that Jon would have wanted us all to make; his work with Death Cafe helped to reclaim the words death and dying and placed importance on us all being unafraid of using the actual words and not speaking in euphemisms. 
 
Jon brought together tens of thousands of people who began to talk openly and honestly about one of life’s toughest subjects, over tea and cake. 
 
Since the first Death Cafe was held in Jon’s front room in Hackney in 2011, there have been over 5000 Death Cafes in over 50 countries. Death Cafe has received unprecedented press coverage including the front page of the New York Times, Woman’s Hour, BBC Breakfast News and pretty much every other major news outlet around the world. 
 
Jon also painstakingly built and managed Funeral Advisor in association with the Natural Death Centre Charity and worked on many projects for Dying Matters. 
 
My colleagues in the death and dying profession, including so many of the people in this room, have been devastated by Jon’s untimely death. We are honoured that we were able to call him both a colleague and a friend. 
 
In the beautiful setting of the Jamyang Buddhist Centre and with the generosity and creativity of some of the 
people in this room today – including Hasina, Allistair and Sarah from Compassionate Funerals, the team at Ecoffins, Andrew and Steve from Brahm’s Electric Hearse and the members of the Good Funeral Guild who carried Jon’s coffin, Jon’s funeral ceremony took place on Thursday 6th July. It had been Jon’s dream to hold 
funerals at the centre and with an irony he would have relished, his was the first. 
 
A perfect reflection of Jon, his funeral was brave, pioneering and groundbreaking. 
 
Jon was a source of invaluable advice, support and encouragement to everyone in the fields of death and dying, always generous with himself and his resources. He was one of the good guys – the most genuine, well intentioned, humble, kind hearted and gentle person, both professionally and personally. 
 
He was a mix of quiet determination, loving kindness, extreme modesty and belief in the importance of the work he was doing as a self-confessed death activist. His commitment to making the world a better place 
through his work was unwavering. 
 
Since 2011, Jon funded Death Cafe entirely through his own personal savings and small freelance 
projects. He had recently begun trying to fundraise so he could pay his bills and support his family. 
 
As a community, we wanted to support Jon’s young children, Frank and Gina, and set up a JustGiving page 
in his memory. We’ll be auctioning the infamous gold cake at the end of today’s awards ceremony, and all 
proceeds will go directly to Jon’s family. 
 
So in Jon’s own words: “I’m motivated to do this work because I believe that engaging with death is both important and overlooked. My experience tells me that death can play a role in helping us enjoy life. I also believe that focusing on death can play a part in helping us get to grips with some big challenges – like supporting older people, climate change, a broken economic system and chronic global inequality. This may not 
immediately make sense but if we can face up to death we can face up to anything. I am very proud of 
my work – I don’t think there has ever been anything quite like it!”
 
On behalf of everyone here today, the wider death and dying community and Death Cafe hosts and 
attendees all over the world, I’d like to ask Jon’s sister Jools Barsky to collect an award in Jon’s honour – the Good Funeral Award for Outstanding Service to Society.”

Thank you Lou!!

We are really sad to announce that our lovely Editor, Louise Winter, has resigned as part of the GFG team this weekend.

We’ve been lucky enough to have had her on board for over a year, during which time she has reinvigorated and rejuvenated the Good Funeral Guide, teaching us oldies about the power of social media and helping us reach farther than ever before using Twitter and Facebook. She’s been a great friend and colleague, and we will miss her immensely, but we’re delighted that her reasons for stepping down are such good ones.

Lou will be devoting herself to running her new bespoke funeral business in London, Poetic Endings  while simultaneously curating Life, Death Whatever and developing a LDW community – and writing a book in her spare time. After much deliberation, she decided that there just wasn’t enough space for her to continue her voluntary role with the GFG, so she has reluctantly decided to bring this chapter of her life to a graceful close.

I know that I speak for my fellow directors when I say how sorry we are to see her go, but we are incredibly lucky to have enjoyed her creativity and company over the last year and we will remain the firmest of friends.

Louise will continue to be an active member of the Good Funeral Guild, and will be acting as Creative Consultant to the GFG in the future – which basically means we’ll be ringing her up regularly to arrange to meet for a coffee and a chat, but she won’t have the burden of having to give up hours of her time being the editor of the GFG.

So thank you very much for everything you’ve done in your time with us Louise. You’ve been amazing, and will be a very hard act to follow. We wish you every success with your exciting work, and we will feel a strong sense of pride as we watch you continue to change the way we do funerals in the UK.

 

Fran