Cherry blossoms

Posted by Vale

Blossom bursting from bare wood,
old hearts crack open
spring sunshine.

There is something unlooked for in the pleasures of spring: light, warmth and the flush of blossom; a sudden generosity beyond expectation.

Japan marks this annual marvel by holding blossom viewing parties. It’s part of a culture which reverences nature by going out and actively celebrating it – moon gazing, listening to mountain streams and viewing flowers.

Springtime brings the most intense experience. A wave of cherry blossom festivals sweeps the islands of Japan starting in the south and following the sun northwards over two or three months. Picnics under the trees can be raucous and lively (older people often prefer more sedate plum blossom viewings), but winter is over and the sap is rising.

Underneath the joy there is, of course, a poignancy. It’s not as simple as reminding us that – like our lives – the blossoms’ beauty is brief and all too quickly ended, it’s also the sense that there could be no better time to leave than when the world around you is at its most lovely. Back in the 12th Century Saigyo famously wrote:

I wish to die in spring
beneath the cherry blossoms
while the springtime moon is full

Of course the connection between the cherry blossom and time’s passing can be found much closer to home too. This from AE Housman’s A Shropshire Lad:

Loveliest of trees, the cherry now
Is hung with bloom along the bough,
And stands about the woodland ride
Wearing white for Eastertide.

Now of my threescore years and ten,
Twenty will not come again,
And take from seventy springs a score,
It only leaves me fifty more.

And since to look at things in bloom
Fifty springs are little room,
About the woodlands I will go
To see the cherry hung with snow.

How nice to imagine the time when you thought you had fifty blossom seasons more.

What price value?

Over at the Connnecting Directors website here there’s a rant by a funeral home consultant, Alan Creedy. In it, we see amusing similarities between the US funeral industry and our own:

Why do funeral professionals spend so much time fighting among themselves and never fighting for themselves? … Why is so much emotional energy spent on not-losing-a-call and none spent on getting 5 more calls?

Mr Creedy berates US undertakers for their passivity in hard times:

We are so addicted to our “Mr. Nice Guy” image and so afraid of offending just one person that we allow people like Jessica Mitford and Lisa Carlson and a plethora of ill informed journalists to tell our story for us. In fact, I have come to believe we no longer know what our story is.

Worse, it seems US funeral home profits have halved in the last 30 years. Mr Creedy wants undertakers to stand up for themselves:

WAKE UP! If you think people will like you because you are their doormat (which they don’t) they will like you a whole lot less when you are a public failure. Your livelihood is in jeopardy. Your wife and your family’s livelihood is in jeopardy

…and so on. You can read it for yourself here.

Over here in the UK, times are also hard for undertakers. There are too many of them competing in a market where the death rate has never been so low.

Worse, there’s a recession on.

And to top it all, demand has never been higher for cut-price funerals. The undertakers who are doing best are the £995, bargain basement, pile em high and burn em cheap brigade. The number of people looking for direct cremation is becoming astonishing.

It is not all economic necessity which is driving this. Arguably, the significant factor is the failure of our undertakers, collectively, to make a case for the emotional and spiritual value of a funeral ceremony.

A funeral is, for many, no more than an invidious social ordeal.

And the trend is that it is becoming increasingly okay to opt out.

Thoughts of a funeral-goer

Posted by Lyra Mollington

I’ve been rumbled. 

My grandson let it slip that I’m writing for the Good Funeral Guide.  My sister Myra has just phoned me – and she seems to have forgotten that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.  

M:       Congratulations on your new hobby.  What on earth possessed you to write about funerals? 

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Green cremation

It’s interesting to see how Resomation is taking off in the US — green cremation, they call it. Great name.

In addition to the eco credentials and the energy efficiency of these Resomators, we wonder how just how attractive to US undertakers, sorry, funeral directors, is the lovely whiteness of the ‘ash’ you get from Resomation. It’s the sort of thing that’s likely to make all the difference to our cosmetising cousins. 

Full marks to Sandy Sullivan in Glasgow, who makes Resomators for the US market. Nice guy, and doing okay. Well deserved. 

Find Resomation Ltd here

A folklorist’s funeral

There’s a very charming and touching account here of what would conventionally be reckoned the very alternative funeral of Thomas Hine, pictured above. His beautiful Leafshroud, below, was made by Yuli Somme here.

London’s finest independent funeral directors

Posted by Richard Rawlinson

I’m posed with a dilemma here, a choice between topicality or taste.

Oh, publish and be damned. Forgive the timing in this, the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee year, to raise the subject of Her Majesty’s official undertakers, Leverton & Sons, a 200-year-old family firm of funeral directors that has served London for eight generations.

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Goldfish Swirl

Goldfish Swirl

We loved our fat Fred and sweet Dinah,
Who came to us from the goose fair.
As John threw his balls in a fish bowl,
…Then chose his first prize with great care.

The fish sloshed and dangled in plastic,
In little hands grubby and warm.
He carried them home oh so proudly,
…Wondering what tricks they’d perform.

The bag split and spilled in the bathroom,
The goldfish flopped out with a plop.
The hand basin was far from perfect,
…So we bought a bowl from a shop.

The fish bowl was all round and sparkling,
With a bridge and green plant or two.
Johnny watched and eagerly waited,
…To see what these new friends would do.

They swam all around without memory,
Gumming food flakes light as fresh air.
John went off to bed feeling happy,
…But morning brought depths of despair.

With blind eyes, Fred floated and wriggled,
While Dinah lay dead on the floor.
Heartbroken Johnny let out a shriek,
…And sobbed as he ran for the door.

Oh what can we do? Where will they go?
Fred and Dinah were simply the best.
Don’t worry son, I’ll get you the Queen –
…Miss Mundi – to lay them to rest.

She came upon the sad sorry scene,
I remember she wore bright blue.
We sang a hymn, she said a short prayer,
…Squeezed into the downstairs loo.

She said nice words about John’s best friends,
As they swirled around in the pan.
She never mentioned that they were… DEAD,
…Pull the flush now, brave little man.

The goldfish have gone up to heaven,
Least that’s what the clergymen think.
(We know they’ve gone out with the sewage
…to the farm where everything stinks.)

I paid her cash and thanked her so much
Johnny stared and said: I feel mean…
I’m famished and watching them floating
…makes me hungry for toast and……..sardines!

juno gatsby march 2012

Goodbye My Friend

Oh we never know where life will take us
I know it’s just a ride on the wheel
And we never know when death will shake us
And we wonder how it will feel

So goodbye my friend
I know I’ll never see you again
But the time together through all the years
Will take away these tears
It’s okay now
Goodbye my friend

I’ve seen a lot things that make me crazy
And I guess I held on to you
We could’ve run away and left well maybe
But it wasn’t time and we both knew

So goodbye my friend
I know I’ll never see you again
But the love you gave me through all the years
Will take away these tears
I’m okay now
Goodbye my friend

Life’s so fragile and love’s so pure
We can’t hold on but we try
We watch how quickly it disappears
And we never know why

But I’m okay now
Goodbye my friend
You can go now
Goodbye my friend

Death in Italy

 Posted by Richard Rawlinson

The Cremation Society of Great Britain this month publishes its international cremation statistics for 2010. See here.

The country with the highest percentage of cremations is Japan at 99.9%, and the country with the lowest percentage is Ghana at 3%. But, for me, the most interesting comparison, is between the UK and Italy.

The UK, which has 260 crematoria nationwide, had 413,780 cremations, which is 73% of the total 565,624 deaths. Italy, which had a similar number of deaths to the UK, had 488,756 fewer cremations. Italy’s 76,868 cremations amount to 14% of the total 585,448 deaths.

I confess to being a bit of an Italophile but it strikes me Italians celebrate life with verve but treat death with a dignity that’s also practical and realistic – an approach that’s perhaps lacking in some Protestant countries where death is more taboo.

Italian funerals and wakes remain sombre occasions where most people wear black. When someone dies in a village, he or she is still kept in an open coffin at home and friends and neighbours visit to pay their respects. The family often decorate the door of the house and put up notices to tell people about the death and the funeral. They have a full mass at the funeral service and neighbours and friends follow the pallbearers to the cemetery in a procession while people watch respectfully.

The cemetries are well kept, too, and the graves seem to be cared for with love, often displaying framed photos of the deceased and newly-placed flowers.

The cemeteries outside the Mediterranean towns are among the best. They often have wonderful views, with coffins placed in niches of high walls, each with their own light and vase.

Long may these traditions last. The crass festival of Halloween is sadly slowly taking the place of the Day of the Dead when, on 2 November, Italians visit the graves of their relatives and friends with chrysanthemums and candles; churches hold services for the dead, and children are given toys and presents by the ‘muorti’.

When the newly married Grace Kelly put a vase of chrysanthemums on a guest’s bedside table, her Prince Ranier of Monaco berated her. ‘Don’t you know these flowers symbolise death in Europe?’ he said.

Find the Cremation Society of Great Britain here

Spoilsport

My father told me that he attended a funeral in the parish of Tuosist, in South Kerry, at the turn of the century. As the coffin was being taken in a cart to the local graveyard at Kilmackillogue, three women keeners sat on top of it, howling and wailing at intervals. The parish priest, on horseback, met the funeral near Derreen, a few miles from the graveyard, and rode at its head along the road. As soon as he heard the three women howl loudly , he turned his horse around and trotted back until he reached them, where they sat on the coffin. He started to lash them with his whip, as the cart passed by, and ordered them to be silent. This they did, but on reaching the graveyard, they again took up their wailings, whereupon the priest forced them down from the coffin with his whip. They were afraid to enter the graveyard to howl at the graveside. This put an end to the hiring of keening women in that parish. 

Ó Suilleabháin, 1973

If we can get a better ref for this, we’ll give it to you. Sent in by Phoebe Hoare, to whom we say thank you. 

The Good Funeral Guide
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