We loved our fat Fred and sweet Dinah,
Who came to us from the goose fair.
As John threw his balls in a fish bowl,
…Then chose his first prize with great care.
The fish sloshed and dangled in plastic,
In little hands grubby and warm.
He carried them home oh so proudly,
…Wondering what tricks they’d perform.
The bag split and spilled in the bathroom,
The goldfish flopped out with a plop.
The hand basin was far from perfect,
…So we bought a bowl from a shop.
The fish bowl was all round and sparkling,
With a bridge and green plant or two.
Johnny watched and eagerly waited,
…To see what these new friends would do.
They swam all around without memory,
Gumming food flakes light as fresh air.
John went off to bed feeling happy,
…But morning brought depths of despair.
With blind eyes, Fred floated and wriggled,
While Dinah lay dead on the floor.
Heartbroken Johnny let out a shriek,
…And sobbed as he ran for the door.
Oh what can we do? Where will they go?
Fred and Dinah were simply the best.
Don’t worry son, I’ll get you the Queen –
…Miss Mundi – to lay them to rest.
She came upon the sad sorry scene,
I remember she wore bright blue.
We sang a hymn, she said a short prayer,
…Squeezed into the downstairs loo.
She said nice words about John’s best friends,
As they swirled around in the pan.
She never mentioned that they were… DEAD,
…Pull the flush now, brave little man.
The goldfish have gone up to heaven,
Least that’s what the clergymen think.
(We know they’ve gone out with the sewage
…to the farm where everything stinks.)
I paid her cash and thanked her so much
Johnny stared and said: I feel mean…
I’m famished and watching them floating
…makes me hungry for toast and……..sardines!
juno gatsby march 2012