You know my methods, Watson.

Charles 8 Comments


David Holmes, funeral director to the discerning folk of Surrey, recently got into a waterfight with the water board. Click on the photo to bring it up to full size.


  1. Charles

    They left out the best part of the story..

    Outside my premises a double storm drain has been blocked for approx two years. In heavy rain, the water floods so badly that I am in danger of getting water in the shop. I have of course complained to the council and Highways. Their response? They delivered sandbags. Now I do appreciate the sandbags, as a temporary measure, but prefer a long-term solution.

    On the very day the aggressive water board man called, to tell me I was breaking the law and should conserve water – we were flooded! He had to negotiate the floods to reach me. No wonder I was grumpy!

  2. Charles

    Grumpy? Grumpy? David, I’d have shoved that sponge so far up he’d have been able to whistle Dixie to his prostate gland!

    Keep washing the cars and face him in court if necessary. I’ll be your witness if you want. Or only pay part of your water rates a la Margot Leadbetter in The Good Life.

  3. Charles

    Sorry to take an alternative view on this, but is not the point of a hosepipe ban to conserve water? So whether or not it is illegal is somewhat irrelevant, if the job in hand can be done without a hosepipe, which it can, very easily.

  4. Charles

    I appreciate your view Andrew. But we did have a flood from weeks of torrential rain and the hearse was very dirty – I think beyond a bucket and sponge job. It really needed a big shampoo and rinse. Close by me are three hand car washes, operating 7am-7pm 7 days a week. If the law allows that then to quote Mr Bumble – I believe it’s an ass.

  5. Charles

    Erm…water board? Presumably that’s water company, the people who lose vast proportion of our water out of their leaky mains so they can supply a dividend to their shareholders. At least when we had water boards the stuff belonged to us, not to international companies based around the world.

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