Lost in translation

From yesterday’s Guardian newspaper: 

Everyone in Israel is talking about the British-American BBC comedy Episodes. Not that it is airing there, but the show has recently become famous for its disastrous use of freebie online translation.

In episode three, Merc Lapidus, one of the lead characters, attends the funeral of his father. The episode was shown in the UK several weeks ago and is airing in the US later this summer.The gravestone, as per Jewish tradition, is bilingual – the local vernacular, in this case English, along with Hebrew. But the entire Hebrew inscription is written backwards, starting with the last letter and working back to the first. The reason, of course, is that Hebrew runs in the opposite direction from English, from right to left. And it gets worse. If you go to the trouble of reading the text, you’ll discover that the man commemorated, a certain Yuhudi Penzel, has been “pickled at great expense”. This is what you get if you use Google Translate to render “dearly missed” into Hebrew. The blooper is now going viral in Israel.

Hat tip to SweetPea.

Introducing the Last Lullaby coffin

We get a steady trickle of phone calls here at the GFG from people who think they’ve got a brilliant product or service to offer the bereaved. Some have, some haven’t. All have already approached funeral directors in the expectation of whoops, backslapping and high fives. All, even the truly brilliant, have been received by more or less unanimous indifference flavoured with lofty disdain or total apathy. No surprises there. 

Herein lies great opportunity for elite funeral directors with powers of discernment  – those who read this blog, mostly. How great it must be for you to have such competitors. 

We were excited to be rung up this morning by an artist called Moth. We find we like her a lot. Moth specialises in murals, and has recently discovered a passion for hand painting children’s coffins. Here’s what she says:

I cannot put right what surely must be one of the most terrible injustices a parent can ever experience – but I can attempt to make a difference – in offering a sensitive and heartfelt alternative to the anonymity of the small, plain white box that is offered to you to transport your precious little person on their final journey in this world. I feel strongly that the anonymity inflicted on babies who die makes it harder for parents to fully engage in the grieving process.

Moth listens sensitively and intuitively, then paints any picture or design parents choose on a wee Sunset coffin, which she prefers for its soft, tactile texture. She says, “It is my passionate desire to give you and your child a voice, and to allow you to live on, knowing that you have given your child a beautiful farewell.”

She’s done her research. She understands the time constraints. She charges according to how much time she spends. The Lily coffin, above, comes in at around £500, a price that is highly unlikely to enrich her.  

Judge for yourself. Click on the photos to bring them up to full size. 

Ring Moth on 01684 574980 / 07855867485
Email her: moth@lastlullaby.co.uk
Check out her website here.

It happens…

Extracted from the Otago Daily Times. New Zealand:

A man who disrupted a Balclutha funeral, yelling vulgarities and causing distress and upset, has been remanded in custody.

Stephen John Hurring (59), of Balclutha, pleaded guilty to disorderly behaviour likely to cause violence at the Balclutha Memorial Hall.

Prosecutor Acting Sergeant Mike Gasson said about 700 mourners were at the funeral.

An intoxicated Hurring was standing in the hall’s entrance foyer about 2.10pm.

During proceedings, he became verbally abusive towards the dead person, yelling vulgarities and causing distress to mourners, including family.

Asked to leave, Hurring refused and caused a commotion, disrupting the funeral.

When restrained by an off-duty constable, Hurring lashed out.

Public defender Jo Turner said Hurring wished to apologise for his behaviour. The person who had died had been a close friend.

Source

Quote of the day

“It is the role of the mortuary staff to pack orifices, not the nurse.”

NHS guide to last offices here.

Thoughts of a funeral-goer

Posted by Lyra Mollington

After even just a few funerals, remaining focused as a mystery mourner is proving quite a challenge.  No wonder some of the vicars sound lacklustre.  They must be thinking, ‘Here we go again: everyone looking glum; pretending to listen; miming to the words of the hymn; wishing they were already at the pub.’

After a couple of dull funerals that were not worth writing about, I thought about giving up.  However, I seem to have become addicted.  And, like a gambler, I live in hope.  Add to that the dreadful weather we’ve been having lately and, before I knew what was happening, I was wearing my black suit and driving through the gates of my local crematorium.  Keeping my fingers crossed for a winner.  But were the odds against me?

We all followed the coffin in.  I sat three rows from the front just behind the family, leaving everyone else skirmishing over the seats at the back.  It’s as though they are back at school – if they sit too near the front the vicar might ask them to come up to the lectern and read something. 

‘I have a poem here that the family have chosen.  It’s rather sentimental and theologically unsound so would someone like to read it for me?  You madam!  Yes you, sitting on the second row back with the ill-fitting jacket and the red cheeks…’

I was daydreaming and I completely missed our vicar’s real opening words.  I then noticed that the floral displays were new.  Artificial of course but quite tasteful, standing out nicely against the curtains.

I was suddenly aware that we were standing up.   I quickly checked the order of service.  Unbelievable!  All Things Bright & Beautiful.  Again.  What are the chances?   

As we sat down, I resolved to concentrate.  I berated myself… this was someone’s funeral.  Someone who may (or may not) have been dearly loved.  It wasn’t yet clear.  I focused on the photograph on the front of the order of service.  It was of a smiling woman with dark wavy hair.  Dyed?  Shirley Ann. My age. 

As I tuned in once more to the Reverend Susan, I was disappointed that there was still no sign of Shirley: her life; her legacy, her hopes and dreams…

Absent-mindedly, I picked up a book from the shelf in front of me: ‘Funeral Services of the Christian Churches in England – New Edition’.

We were standing again – The King of Love my Shepherd Is.  As we sang, I wondered whether the line ‘Perverse and foolish oft I strayed’ applied to Shirley.  And what on earth is ‘unction grace’?

I felt sad as I left the mourners standing around in the drizzle staring at their flowers.  Perhaps Shirley was a private person and this had been the perfect send-off for her: godly words of comfort for her family and friends chosen by the Reverend Susan.  To my shame, I had hardly listened to a single word.

I rummaged in my handbag to find my car keys and I felt something that shouldn’t have been there.  A book.   

I put the heating on when I got home (heavens above, is it really June?).  I read the book of Christian funeral services from cover to cover.  Well, almost: I skimmed some of the prayers and the selection of 44 hymns at the back.  I looked in vain for two of my favourites, ‘I Vow to Thee My Country’ and ‘Onward Christian Soldiers’. 

Although I continued to feel despondent that no-one had wanted (or been able) to share a little about Shirley’s life, I concluded that there are some lovely readings in the book of funeral services. 

I wondered whether these were amongst the words chosen by Reverend Susan: ‘Eternal God…We thank you for Shirley, for the years you gave her and the years we shared with her…’  I hoped they were.  I am determined to listen properly next time.  And there has to be a next time fairly soon – this perverse and foolish woman has stolen goods to return.

© Lyra Mollington 2012

Don’t forget that you are you

“One of the best pieces of advice I had came from a friend whose husband died suddenly… “Don’t forget that you are you,” she said cryptically. How right she was. She meant that I should not allow myself to be changed by my experience of grief.”

Anne Penketh here

God can heal

From this morning’s Times:

A Christian group is to be allowed to claim “God can heal” after an Advertising Standards Authority ruling. Healing on the Streets, based in Wiltshire, can use the phrase only on its website, which the authority has said is outside its jurisdiction and not in printed material. 

Outside its jurisdiction?? Bafflement reigns here at the GFG-Funeralcare Tower™

Haycombe gets cross

The argy-bargy at Haycombe crematorium, Bath, has raged over an important issue, namely, whether or not a building created and maintained by all taxpayers should, or should not, be faith-neutralThe matter of the row was the cross etched into the window (above) which the council proposed to do away with in its recent renovation of the building. There was a one-sided outcry. “We are a Christian society and if we went abroad we would expect to honour the beliefs of that country,” said Councillor Colin Barrett (Con, Weston), speaking for many. The council held firm. The secularists switched off. 

The council has now given way, it seems. Once more we hand the microphone to the smug-sounding, not to say insufferable, Councillor Colin Barrett (Con, Weston), who, according to ThisIsBath, said: “I’m really pleased that the council has bowed to public pressure and backed down on its previous stance. It’s not exactly what we were looking for, which was a like-for-like replacement window, but it seems to be a compromise which most are happy with. The council has now told us that a cross will be in place in the window of the crematorium, which will only be removed on request for those who do not wish it to be part of their service.”

Is that really what’s happened? Is it the case that the default place for the cross will be in the window and not in the boot of Councillor Colin Barrett (Con, Weston)’s car?

There’s a principle at stake here. The council should have stood its ground and made it clear to all faith groups they they’re welcome to bring along whatever symbols they please, so long as they take them away with them when they leave. 

 

Source

Music

“For the moment, the jazz is playing; there is no melody, just notes, a myriad of tiny tremors. The notes know no rest, an inflexible order gives birth to them then destroys them, without ever leaving them the chance to recuperate and exist for themselves … I would like to hold buy cialis online 1 them back, but I know that, if I succeeded in stopping one, there would only remain in my hand a corrupt and languishing sound. I must accept their death; I must even want that death: I know of few more bitter or intense impressions.”

John-Paul Sartre

ASA adjudication on Greenfield Creations

Advertising Standards Authority Adjudication on Greenfield Creations Ltd

Greenfield Creations Ltd

Chapel Road
Ridgewell
Essex
CO9 4RU

Date:

13 June 2012

Media:

Internet (on own site)

Sector:

Business

Number of complaints:

1

Complaint Ref:

A12-191396

Background

Summary of Council decision:

Two issues were investigated of which both were Upheld.

Ad

Claims on www.GreenfieldCreationsCoffins.co.uk, stated “The Greenfield Creations cardboard coffin is a strong, sturdy, but lightweight coffin which has been developed to meet the needs of those who require an environmentally friendly and biodegradable coffin. Over the last few years demand for ‘greener’, and more cost effective, funerals has increased dramatically”. Further text stated “Cardboard coffins are load tested up to 23 stone”.

Issue

Colourful Coffins challenged whether the claims:

1. “environmentally friendly and biodegradable coffin”; and

2. “Cardboard coffins are load tested up to 23 stone”

were misleading and could be substantiated.

CAP Code (Edition 12)

Response

1. Greenfield Creations said they were willing to make changes to their advertising. They stated, however, they had not realised their product did not fall within the ASA’s definition of “environmentally friendly”. They said they considered their product consisted of the cardboard, glue and tape used to make the coffin. They said all those elements were biodegradable and sent specifications from their suppliers stating that was the case. They said the handles and liner for their coffins were “accessories” that were made from cotton or natural rope and therefore also biodegradable. On that basis, they considered that their coffin was biodegradable. They submitted general details about the company and the coffins as well as information from the manufacturers of the materials they used to make the cardboard coffin, liner, and handles. They also stated the only non-biodegradable accessories available were brass-effect handles and a lining that was used for cremations.

2. Greenfield Creations provided information and video footage regarding a load test on a cardboard coffin that took place at the National Funeral Exhibition in 2009 and 2011. They said the test was representative of four funeral directors shouldering a coffin and the test had been seen by a large number of funeral practitioners.

Assessment

1. Upheld

The ASA acknowledged Greenfield Creations were willing to amend the ad and noted their argument that their product should be defined only as the cardboard, glue and tape. However, we considered consumers would understand the claim to refer to the whole product, including all fixtures, such as handles and liner. We noted the specifications Greenfield Creations submitted in relation to the component materials, but considered the evidence was not adequate to support the “environmentally friendly” claim in relation to the full life cycle of the product, even for just the cardboard, glue and tape. We also noted we had not seen adequate evidence to demonstrate that the entire product was biodegradable. We therefore concluded that the claim “environmentally friendly and biodegradable coffin” had not been substantiated and the ad was misleading.

On this point, the ad breached CAP Code (Edition 12) rules 3.1 (Misleading advertising), 3.7 (Substantiation) and 11.1 and 11.4 (Environmental claims).

2. Upheld

We noted the information provided by Greenfield Creations regarding a test they had conducted on their product during two exhibitions. The information consisted of photographs of the product being tested at the exhibitions and an invoice for 150 kg of gravel. We also noted, however, we had not seen any evidence that the product had, for example, been subject to any controlled independent tests and considered the substantiation submitted was not adequate to support the claim. We concluded that the claim “load tested up to 23 stone” had not been substantiated and the ad was misleading.

On this point, the ad breached CAP Code (Edition 12) rules 3.1 (Misleading advertising) and 3.7 (Substantiation).

Action

The ad must not appear again in its current form. We told Greenfield Creations not to state or imply that their product was environmentally friendly, unless they held substantiation for the claim based on the full life cycle of the product. We also told them to ensure they held adequate evidence to support all objective claims in future advertising.

Source

Response, action and clarification from Greenfield Creations Ltd

What a joy and great learning curve it has been working with these organisations…

“Environmentally friendly and biodegradable coffin”

I always understood the term ‘environmentally friendly’ to mean – causes ‘minimal harm’ or ‘less harm’ to the environment but the ASA relevant code rule (see below) needs to incorporate the ‘full life cycle’ of the product:

11.4 Marketers must base environmental claims on the full life cycle of the advertised product, unless the marketing communication states otherwise, and must make clear the limits of the life cycle. If a general claim cannot be justified, a more limited claim about specific aspects of a product might be justifiable. Marketers must ensure claims that are based on only part of the advertised product’s life cycle do not mislead consumers about the product’s total environmental impact.

We are still waiting for information from the ASA advisory team to clarify if, in fact, ANY product could be deemed “environmentally friendly”. We have racked our brains in the office, while awaiting the information and can only come up with an undisturbed mushroom that grows and dies. If anyone out there knows of an actual “environmentally friendly product”, I would love to hear about it.

Regarding biodegradability – The ASA’s definition of a coffin would include all fittings such as the lining and handles. Therefore we will present a complete breakdown for ALL choices of order combination. All % examples have been based on weight of product/product parts. For example:

Brown economy coffin with cotton strap handles & cotton calico liner would be –

100% biodegradable cardboard in product = 99.88% biodegradable.

Biodegradable content of total product is = 99.83% biodegradable.

Content of total product that is recycled = 76.91% recycled. 

Brown economy coffin with brass effect handles & cremfilm liner would be –

100% biodegradable cardboard in product = 88.98% biodegradable.

Biodegradable content of total product is = 88.93% biodegradable

Content of total product that is recycled = 68.51% recycled.

“Cardboard coffins are load tested up to 23 stone”

This has been excellent for us and a big thank you goes to Colourful Coffins Ltd…

We had previously demonstrated a load capability of 23 stone at many Funeral exhibitions in front of hundreds of Funeral Practitioners over the years but the ASA needed an independent load test to satisfy the complaint. 

Consequently we had an independent test facility undertake a new, controlled, load test… and guess what?  At 49.5 stone the coffin was still capable of holding more load but the testing bench which represented 4 ‘bearers’ could take no more. New info we can now use to promote our Cardboard coffins, if we so wish: 

“Cardboard coffins are load tested up to 49.5 stone”

The GFG notes: Environmental credentials are important to consumers. Both Greenfield Creations and Colourful Coffins have both now been brought to book in the matter of claims to the environmental purity of their product, and both have emerged from ASA adjudication more or less vindicated. We don’t doubt the good faith of either party. In the matter of the load bearing capacity of cardboard coffins, it is absolutely vital for a cardboard coffin manufacturer to be able to demonstrate that their product is fit for purpose given the tendency of many funeral directors to talk their clients out of choosing one on the grounds that their ‘loved one’ may burst through the bottom on the way to the catafalque. The load bearing capacity of the Greenfield coffin emerges from stern examination with positively heroic credentials far exceeding original claims. The ‘problem’ that neither party addresses, interestingly, is the waterproof credentials of their product. It is not unknown for a funeral director to cast doubt on the rainworthiness of a cardboard coffin. 

Of the two companies, only Greenfield sells its coffins direct to the public and, what’s more, the GFG endorses and recommends the Greenfield coffin, so our credibility is at stake here, too. Our belief in the integrity of Greenfield remains entirely unshaken as a result of this adjudication, as does our admiration. Greenfield was the first to bring colourful coffins to market in the UK, a courageous thing to do when the acceptability of their product was by no means assured. They are pioneers in the field, trailblazers, something which deserves the highest respect. They are also incredibly nice people, a matter of equal importance to us. 

 

The Good Funeral Guide
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