Don’t forget that you are you

Charles 4 Comments





“One of the best pieces of advice I had came from a friend whose husband died suddenly… “Don’t forget that you are you,” she said cryptically. How right she was. She meant that I should not allow myself to be changed by my experience of grief.”


Anne Penketh here





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Georgina Pugh
11 years ago

That’s an interesting statement… is it possible to remain unchanged by grief? Do we exist separate from our relationships? What happens when one of those relationships changes utterly through death?

Charles Cowling
11 years ago

Very good point, Georgina. I posted this (as I do most other things) with an absolutely open mind.

Intuitively, I think there’s something in it…

gloria mundi
11 years ago

H’m, yes interesting stuff. I can’t imagine being unchanged by grief, but I would take the original advice as being closer to “don’t let grief overwhelm your sense of who you are.”

11 years ago

I think it’s a reminder to try and find yourself again. To stop being ‘carer of’ or ‘widow of’ the deceased and rediscover your own self and sense of identity. Reading Anne Penketh I think she was changed by her loss. As Georgina says few of us exist in isolation, the difficulty comes in climbing out of the place into which the perceptions of others has placed us.