Serving gay and black communities

Charles Cowling

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Guest post by Richard Rawlinson

Recent talk about preferences for traditional or alternative funeral services was pretty much silenced by the word ‘choice’. In other words, whether it’s a requiem mass preceded by a Victorian-lite cortege or a liturgy-free, no-dress-code send-off in a field, give the punters what they want.

This libertarian strain of relativism has again been used to challenge ownership of the word ‘progressive’. Isn’t any undertaker progressive if he/she strives to offer better service and value? Isn’t anyone progressive if he/she wants society to advance in the direction of greater peace and prosperity?

People differ on how and where to move forward but no one owns the label of progressive as people have diverse tastes, beliefs, income levels etc. In this pluralist society, choice trumps homogeneity. Sometimes, the big chains deliver it, sometimes niche undertakers have healthy volume by specialising in a given area.

There’s been much said about green pound undertakers but there are also specialists defined by sexuality and race—the pink pound and black pound sub-categories within the grey pound.

If you Google  ‘gay funeral directors’ (hat tip Mark Sharron’s recent post about search engine optimisation), you find the site of the Gay Business Association (GBA) listing its members in the funeral trade – here.

London’s Chelsea Funeral Directors is profiled as ‘independent, British, gay-owned (actually it’s not – see footnote)  and managed funeral directors and monumental masons, sensitive to personalised funeral requests’.

The entire Dignity chain is also a GBA member and states: ‘We offer sympathetic, caring, unbiased service through our nationwide network of over 550 funeral homes – 24 hours a day… We also provide full services for persons with AIDS and HIV+’.

There’s clearly a difference between a gay-managed company and a corporation making a point that all business is welcome. The pink pound might be attracted to Dignity’s GBA membership just as the red pound of union activists might be attracted to the Labour-funding Co-operative Group’s Funeralcare chain. That doesn’t make either the real deal.

A funeral director catering for reds didn’t score in my Google search but there are plenty of other specialists beyond the greens and the pinks.

  1. Carty Independent Funeral Services in London’s Brixton is managed by people from African and Caribbean backgrounds, and specialises in funerals for Rastafarians.

As with most modern companies, Chelsea and M. Carty undertakers will tailor their services to individual wishes, whether religious or non-religious, opulent or simple. Likewise, their funerals are, of course, available to gay and straight or black and white.

The fact they also promote their niche expertise as a strength is an added bonus, good for individuals within the community and, I hope, good for business.

Footnote: for Charlie Phillips’s photographs of Afro-Caribbean funerals, see here.

ED’S NOTE 1) Cheshire East Council’s Information On Using A Funeral Director notes: “older people tend to reflect upon the past socialist principles of the ‘Co-op’ funeral services, which may no longer apply.”  2) We are informed (21.06, Weds 22.10.2014) that Chelsea Funeral Directors are no longer gay-owned.   

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Richard
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Richard

GM, we’re kindred spirits whether you like it or not!! David, nice anecdote about the same sex couple in your promo, and I liked the limo piece too! Lucy, like the jeans experiment.

Mark Shaw
Guest

The problem with specialising is that you may be half way through a “normal” arrangement before you pick up on a families specific wish. Do you turn them away at that point? No!

Our specialism is care of deceased, formalities, legalities and customs in our areas etc. we should therefore be able to look after any client with honest integrity and know the extent of our industry well enough to cater for particular wishes.

If I were to turn away certain groups as they were out with my speciality (not that I want to) I could be taken to court!

David Holmes
Guest

Our old website had a pre-paid funeral page with a single photograph depicting an older couple. The text suggested that as we age, we may want to plan our funeral with a partner, husband or wife. In this case, the picture used was of two older men – clearly a gay couple. I thought our choice of picture was brave, but no-one ever commented on it, which I think is evidence of progress. Surely a good funeral director never discriminates nor judges anyone. I am proud to have conducted dozens of gay funerals, mostly the casual observer would never have… Read more »

Lucy
Guest

I think “specialising” in one area from the very beginning is a mistake if you are building your company and reputation from the ground up and is a luxury most funeral directors can’t afford in the short term. In the long term though, why not? My website is going to be updated shortly and amongst the types of funerals I specialise in will be Irish Repatriations. In the course of my career, I have genuinely lost count of the number of repatriations I have undertaken around the world but in the last three months alone, I have repatriated five people… Read more »

Andrew Rush
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Andrew Rush

You could say that you’re supporting Jeans for Genes – http://www.jeansforgenesday.org/ (and do so, of course!)

Lucy
Guest

Andrew, we did support Jeans for Genes and made a donation to them too! On the company Facebook page, we encouraged everyone to do the same. Charles, really appreciate the comments. As you say, I am genuinely up for anything (as long as it is legal!) and because of this, I have been involved in some amazing funerals. They range from “I want everything including the kitchen sink,” and “something really simple.” I have a lady in her nineties who wants her coffin carried by Chippendales but also have a gentleman who wants no one at his funeral. What ever… Read more »

gloria mundi
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There seems to me to be a really sound strain of common sense and realism running through this post. It’s easy to agree that polarising funeralists into trad and prog is as useless as all such definition games. It’s perhaps harder to avoid slipping into the terminology without noticing, as it is with “green” burial grounds. One I know of seems to me simply a cemetery with trees…. The historically sentimental assumption that the Co-op is somehow a more socialist choice than any other undertaker is about as naive as assuming that a Dignity funeral wil be more dignified than… Read more »