26 February 2013 – The Good Funeral Guide

Bright eyes

26 February 2013

Charles

3 Comments

Categories: music

Posted by Vale

Remember Watership Down? The best selling childrens book about a band of rabbits?

Adams, the author, gives the warrens he writes about social structures and a strong lapin culture. There are even myths and legends. Even a rabbit version of the Grim Reaper himself who appears to rabbits as ‘the Black Rabbit of Inle’. Inle is Lapine for ‘moon’ or ‘darkness’.

The song – Bright Eyes – was written for the cartoon version of the book and is a lament for Hazel, leader of the band of rabbits, as he dies and goes to join the band of heroes who follow the rabbits’ trickster god El Ahrairah (Prince of a Thousand Enemies).

Eat your heart out Bambi.

Is it a kind of dream,
Floating out on the tide,
Following the river of death downstream?
Oh, is it a dream?

There’s a fog along the horizon,
A strange glow in the sky,
And nobody seems to know where you go,
And what does it mean?
Oh, is it a dream?

Bright eyes,
Burning like fire.
Bright eyes,
How can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes.

Is it a kind of shadow,
Reaching into the night,
Wandering over the hills unseen,
Or is it a dream?

There’s a high wind in the trees,
A cold sound in the air,
And nobody ever knows when you go,
And where do you start,
Oh, into the dark.

Bright eyes,
burning like fire.
Bright eyes,
how can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes.

Why doctors can’t talk about death

26 February 2013

Charles

2 Comments

Categories: Attitudes to death, Death; Good death, End-of-life issues

“Psychoanalysts believe that emotional trauma in human life is because man is not really a god and is something more than just an animal. He is a demi-god and being a demi-god is hard. He can create and appreciate goodness, enjoy the wonder and awe of each day; teach, learn, and dream, but at the same time, he can see into the future and knows his fate. His mind can conceive flying through the air, staying awake for days or living to be 10,000, but he is denied by the limitations of his flesh. This results in life long stress and in order to cope man uses various psychological strategies, including repression and denial, to focus on each day and each moment and not go truly mad.

When someone becomes ill with a life threatening illness such as cancer, their ability to deny the animal part of their existence may collapse. Suddenly they are less god than ailing beast. This can cause terrible anxiety, confusion and depression, as their personality is threatened by physical deterioration and critical coping mechanisms fail. At these critical times, the support of a physician who understands the core balance of the human condition can be most valuable.

“However, it seems to me that doctors do not talk about death to their patients, not because they do not care, but because doctors do not know how to deal with the god, they only understand the animal.”

Source

Afore ye go

26 February 2013

Charles

5 Comments

Categories: End-of-life issues, memorialisation

We think you’ll agree with us that RecordMeNow.org is a Very Good Thing.

It’s downloadable software that enables you, using the little camera in your computer screen, to record your thoughts about your life, and other things besides, for your children, partner, family, you name it.

The creators especially had children in mind, because children can go through life with all sorts of unresolved questions about a dead parent — the sorts of questions which never go away and prevent them from living fully. One child said:

“Particularly after long illness followed by such family sadness, I had significant feelings of guilt about feeling happy in later life. Permission from him directly would have been really good.”

Another said:

“I felt that without my mum’s advice, we were somehow betraying her by accepting future relationships especially when dad found a future wife years later.”

Another said:

“I just want to see and hear her say she loves me, once more.”

So the RecordMeNow researchers interviewed more than 100 volunteers who had lost one or both parents before the age of 16:

They were asked a series of questions regarding their loss, their prior knowledge and their subsequent educational, social and professional development. They were also asked what questions they wished they could have had answered about or by the parent who died.

Using the RecordMeNow app, you work your way through these questions and create a DVD.

RecordMeNow is a nonprofit founded by some incredibly nice, bright people. Do check it out.