Richard III: fresh calls for state sendoff

Charles 3 Comments


Dig that: the car park atop R III’s grave overseen by Tudor warriors


Tory MP Chris Skidmore has tabled an early day motion in the House of Commons. It moves:

‘That this House notes the discovery of a skeleton beneath a car park in Leicester believed to be that of Richard III; praises the work of the archaeologists and historians responsible for the find; hopes that DNA evidence will prove the remains to be those of the last king of the Plantagenet dynasty; and calls upon the government to arrange a full state funeral for the deceased monarch, and for his remains to be interred appropriately.’





    1. Charles

      Explanation owed to baffled readers. I added a coda claiming that we had encountered a rumour, here at the GFG-Batesville Shard, that Co-operative Funeralcare was considering lodging a bid to undertake one of their package ‘celebration of life’ funerals replete with newest-model vehicles designed to expedite the grief journeys of their passengers. I speculated that proceedings would conclude with My Way as the curtains jiggered shut at the end of a 20-min ceremony, and that the assembled grievers would be greeted with a balloon release as they shouldered their way through the concourse of grievers assembling for the next funeral. I went shopping, thought better of it and deleted it.

      Richard, your suggestion of Lil Wayne is perfect for our malformed monarch:

      But I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
      Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood

      Car Park Boy is pretty darn good, too.

      Any other music suggestions for Richard III’s funeral, anyone? Readings? Poems?

  1. Charles

    No doubt Mr Skidmore is ready to fund a full state funeral from his own pocket – should be a little less costly than the alternative you claim to have heard about Charles…
    But it’s good to see the archaeologists being offered fully-armed state protection from a possible bone-snatching raid by those damned Tudors. Or the Lancastrians. Or Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

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