The pain passes, the beauty remains

Charles Cowling

 

The reasons why most of us require the presence of a dead body at a funeral are well rehearsed. There’s more to this than force of habit. 

In a nutshell, the dead body concentrates the mind and brings appropriate intensity to the occasion. It’s an ordeal, but an emotionally buy tadalafil 100mg valuable ordeal. Take it away and you’ve got an altogether less focussed, less useful event. 

This being so, why do most celebrants omit to propose making funeral arrangements in the presence of the person who has died? Would this not also be an emotionally valuable ordeal?

 

 

 

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gloria mundicharlesJonathanRu CallenderJehdeiah Recent comment authors

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gloria mundi
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gloria mundi

“So if we want to feel present with them, it is we who must move towards them, and not try and bring them back to where they used to be when we could see them.

Which is, of course, the purpose of the celebrant’s visit.”

Sometimes it’s just worth pulling out, quoting and isolating a really useful thought – as above. Thanks Jonathan.

Jonathan
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Jonathan

Postscript: I should point out that I’ve been with a body in the place where the above commentor Ru Callender, along with his partner Claire, invites people to be with their dead’s remains, and it’s a different animal altogether, without all that attitude and prohibition that actually distances our dead artificially. No ghastly ‘chapel of rest’ at The Green Funeral Company.

Jonathan
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Jonathan

Now here’s a provocative one, Charles you old rogue! Funny, it hadn’t occurred to me that we could go to the undertaker and heave the body out of its fridge into the chapel of rest. The ‘chapel of rest’ is, to me, the very place where real emotions are barred. It’s a museum for a corpse dressed up as a person where you’re supposed to go ‘Oh, doesn’t he look peaceful’, or any of the clichés in the Department of Decorum’s leaflet; ‘How to Behave After a Death in England and Wales’. You aren’t encouraged to beat your breast and… Read more »

Ru Callender
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Freudian slip Gloria. Lol, as the kids say..

gloria mundi
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gloria mundi

Er, that should of course read “boat,” not “boast,” sorry, the print’s so small…wonder if Lyra has that problem? And the home viewing/planning meeting is Jed’s excellent point.

gloria mundi
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gloria mundi

It is indeed an interesting proposal, and one that hasn’t occurred to me, so thanks. (Not sure about your word ‘omit,’ however, Charles. Omitting something is a deliberate action, or at least an action based on prior knowledge, even if forgetfulness or personal preference intervenes – but this is a new idea to me. Perhaps not to others??) It could only be a suggestion; I feel it’s likely (only a hunch based on their other behaviours, I admit) that some/many wouldn’t want that, would rather meet in the comforting surroundings of their own front rooms.For some families, having to meet… Read more »

Jehdeiah
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Jehdeiah

I think that could be a very valuable idea, I have often thought it would be good to meet in the chapel of rest. I would quite like to see Great Aunt Maud, and I think it might concentrate the bickering minds and voices if they stood in her presence. I’m a great advocate of family seeing the dearly departed too, but now I find myself in a quandary – I like to see them because they’re ‘not there’ so that would negate my earlier idea of standing in her presence…. Catch 22 I believe? It would work if Great… Read more »