Charles Cowling

It’s been a while since I posted a roundup of news stories. Here’s a bunch. I can’t claim to have got them all; it’s a laborious business collecting them. They were all first posted on Twitter. I feel guilty about that. Twitter is a social networking site and I just use it as a filing system. Not cricket. Ach, wotthehell, archy, wotthehell.

Man journeying through eternity with a woman who is not his wife –http://bit.ly/i8mfBr

Father of Britain’s longest unburied body dies – http://bbc.in/i2r9Th

‘In his memory, go and get that medical test you’ve been avoiding.’ Always the best obits here: http://bit.ly/fGVXFl

RIP Poly Styrene – http://youtu.be/2sl-7RSiRXE

Thirteen-year-old boy sets fire to his granddad – http://bit.ly/gNyhno

What would you taste like to a cannibal? Ever wondered? Find out here – http://bit.ly/alQW

“Davis said God was looking out for his family when a huge oak tree fell on their house.” Mysterious ways. http://bit.ly/jRmSRi

Mumbai scheme to stop dogs running off with the bones of cremated bodies – http://bit.ly/lBdZtj

Pub to hold funeral for hail-fellow-well-met cat – http://bit.ly/j58Bxy

The husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor wants to have her plastinated when she’s dead – http://bit.ly/j3Rh4U

Burial Lessons: From Che to bin Laden. http://nyr.kr/mGgNN2

Dead rebels with a cause and post-mortem ignominy strategies –http://bbc.in/lGRWOD

RIP Major General Barry Nuttall, scourge of the bureaucrats. What a great guy – http://bit.ly/k8jATS

101 ways to euphemise ‘died’ – http://bit.ly/liuCAg

‘If god wanted us to believe in him he’d exist.’ Linda Smith.

New coffin manufacturer on the block. Anyone know anything about Steve Soult Ltd? http://bit.ly/jdygIO

Teen shoots self during funeral for shooting victim –http://bit.ly/mSGL8x

The DVD funeral tribute turned out to be a child porn slideshow. Ouch. http://bit.ly/kCsyiy

No bricks and mortar funeral homes – the shape of things to come in the UK? http://bit.ly/mvfYFH

Undertaker leaps from a moving aeroplane! http://bit.ly/mq9aHA

Sign of the times: the corpse was identified by the serial numbers of the breast implants – http://bit.ly/k7lNaK

Co-op trying to drive ethical retailer out of business. It’s time to expose this nasty pointless org – http://bit.ly/j3uYrV

OMG and all that, they’re serious about disturbing the dead and reusing their graves!! Good thing and high time –http://bbc.in/lGYKZW

There’s nowt so crap as a crem. This one wouldn’t wait for the dead woman’s brother – http://bit.ly/igiVDk

They killed the dog so that it could be buried with its mistress –http://bit.ly/kOFTSm

No more church funerals for Naples mafiosi. Oh my godfathers!http://bit.ly/lh9sXX

Does anyone know anything about these people? Are they dodgy?http://bit.ly/mpwAwu

Maggoty corpses left outside at US crematory. The price of free enterprise? http://bit.ly/kWPNnw

Gunther von Hagens will pay you £61,000 for your dead body –http://bit.ly/kkga0Y

Dr Hannah Rumble’s PhD thesis on natural burial now available for download. Hugely recommended – http://bit.ly/itaFXA

Here’s a hideous insight into UK undertaking. Cigar for the 1st person to define a ‘caterfelt’ – http://bit.ly/kaWk3f

Anniversary bash celebrates selling out to Fairways. Wailing and gnashing of teeth would have been more in order – http://bit.ly/lfcpsZ

Replica celebrity coffins. Whose is for you? http://bit.ly/jDZZVs

Exit has updated its living will. Pricey at 30 quid but quite possibly worth it? http://bit.ly/ii5F8E

Reporting funerals back in the day – http://bit.ly/joV9cT

 

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Nick
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CATER FELT.
I shall refrain from any temptingly catty remarks, but if a funeral directors that boast 25 years in the business, and a fleet of over 14 newish (09) vehicles, and more “funeral directors per funeral than any other FD in town”, and can’t spell catafalque, then I’m afraid they no longer get my vote.
One could suggest that they need to pay some “attention to detail” Bless.
Back to school Robert.

Kathryn Edwards
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Kathryn Edwards

A caterfelt is that bit of stuff you put under the flowers to stop ’em sliding off the coffin: that’s what I show or know.

Vale
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Vale

Haha! Archy and Mehitabel! No one remembers Archy and Mehitabel these days…

i know that i am bound
for a journey down the sound
in the midst of a refuse mound
but wotthehell wotthehell
oh i should worry and fret
death and i will coquette
there s a dance in the old dame yet
toujours gai toujours gai

Have a good break, Charles