It’s been a while since I posted a roundup of news stories. Here’s a bunch. I can’t claim to have got them all; it’s a laborious business collecting them. They were all first posted on Twitter. I feel guilty about that. Twitter is a social networking site and I just use it as a filing system. Not cricket. Ach, wotthehell, archy, wotthehell.

Man journeying through eternity with a woman who is not his wife –http://bit.ly/i8mfBr

Father of Britain’s longest unburied body dies – http://bbc.in/i2r9Th

‘In his memory, go and get that medical test you’ve been avoiding.’ Always the best obits here: http://bit.ly/fGVXFl

RIP Poly Styrene – http://youtu.be/2sl-7RSiRXE

Thirteen-year-old boy sets fire to his granddad – http://bit.ly/gNyhno

What would you taste like to a cannibal? Ever wondered? Find out here – http://bit.ly/alQW

“Davis said God was looking out for his family when a huge oak tree fell on their house.” Mysterious ways. http://bit.ly/jRmSRi

Mumbai scheme to stop dogs running off with the bones of cremated bodies – http://bit.ly/lBdZtj

Pub to hold funeral for hail-fellow-well-met cat – http://bit.ly/j58Bxy

The husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor wants to have her plastinated when she’s dead – http://bit.ly/j3Rh4U

Burial Lessons: From Che to bin Laden. http://nyr.kr/mGgNN2

Dead rebels with a cause and post-mortem ignominy strategies –http://bbc.in/lGRWOD

RIP Major General Barry Nuttall, scourge of the bureaucrats. What a great guy – http://bit.ly/k8jATS

101 ways to euphemise ‘died’ – http://bit.ly/liuCAg

‘If god wanted us to believe in him he’d exist.’ Linda Smith.

New coffin manufacturer on the block. Anyone know anything about Steve Soult Ltd? http://bit.ly/jdygIO

Teen shoots self during funeral for shooting victim –http://bit.ly/mSGL8x

The DVD funeral tribute turned out to be a child porn slideshow. Ouch. http://bit.ly/kCsyiy

No bricks and mortar funeral homes – the shape of things to come in the UK? http://bit.ly/mvfYFH

Undertaker leaps from a moving aeroplane! http://bit.ly/mq9aHA

Sign of the times: the corpse was identified by the serial numbers of the breast implants – http://bit.ly/k7lNaK

Co-op trying to drive ethical retailer out of business. It’s time to expose this nasty pointless org – http://bit.ly/j3uYrV

OMG and all that, they’re serious about disturbing the dead and reusing their graves!! Good thing and high time –http://bbc.in/lGYKZW

There’s nowt so crap as a crem. This one wouldn’t wait for the dead woman’s brother – http://bit.ly/igiVDk

They killed the dog so that it could be buried with its mistress –http://bit.ly/kOFTSm

No more church funerals for Naples mafiosi. Oh my godfathers!http://bit.ly/lh9sXX

Does anyone know anything about these people? Are they dodgy?http://bit.ly/mpwAwu

Maggoty corpses left outside at US crematory. The price of free enterprise? http://bit.ly/kWPNnw

Gunther von Hagens will pay you £61,000 for your dead body –http://bit.ly/kkga0Y

Dr Hannah Rumble’s PhD thesis on natural burial now available for download. Hugely recommended – http://bit.ly/itaFXA

Here’s a hideous insight into UK undertaking. Cigar for the 1st person to define a ‘caterfelt’ – http://bit.ly/kaWk3f

Anniversary bash celebrates selling out to Fairways. Wailing and gnashing of teeth would have been more in order – http://bit.ly/lfcpsZ

Replica celebrity coffins. Whose is for you? http://bit.ly/jDZZVs

Exit has updated its living will. Pricey at 30 quid but quite possibly worth it? http://bit.ly/ii5F8E

Reporting funerals back in the day – http://bit.ly/joV9cT