If ever I am surprised by genius and give birth to a great idea I always offer it up for adoption at the mewling and puking stage. This is because I am a 99 per cent inspiration 1 per cent perspiration person. The last great idea I brought into the world was Viking funerals for cremated remains. Its delighted adoptive parent is bringing it up in a secret shed somewhere in Sheffield. It will come to market and make his fortune. No regrets. The world needs starters and the world needs finishers.
I’ve got a new one to give away.
As global warming kicks in nicely it is clear that we are in for a run of arctic winters. Last year’s snows showed up the propensity of conventional funeral vehicles to lose their heads, slither and sashay on icy roads, sideswipe milk floats, glide sideways at roundabouts – in short, fall from grace.
We need a seasonal alternative, one which does not suffer from wheelspin. Like all good funeral futurists I looked back to the past and it didn’t take long to find what I was looking for.
A sleigh hearse and sleigh limousine. Drawn by huskies, stocky ponies, reindeer – even mourners. You can’t have jingle bells on a hearse, of course, and I puzzled over how you can get them to toll. You can’t, can you?
No matter. I don’t do development. It’s all yours.