The Lazarus touch

Charles Cowling

Thank you, all those of you who expressed solicitude during my little illness. I am very touched. I can see now why it is that women outlive men. It is because they sensibly enlist medical science to deal with symptoms as they occur, they don’t impatiently wait for them to go away. And when they do see the doctor they don’t downplay those symptoms because they don’t want to make a fuss or give trouble, thereby rendering diagnosis more or less impossible. I have learnt my lesson.

I hope the little song in praise of organ donation (above) will make you smile.

PLEASE DON’T BURY ME

John Prine

Woke up this morning

Put on my slippers

Walked in the kitchen and died

And oh what a feeling!

When my soul Went thru the ceiling

And on up into heaven I did ride

When I got there they did say

John, it happened this way

You slipped upon the floor

And hit your head

And all the angels say

Just before you passed away

These were the very last words That you said:

Please don’t bury me

Down in that cold cold ground

No, I’d druther have “em” cut me up

And pass me all around

Throw my brain in a hurricane

And the blind can have my eyes

And the deaf can take both of my ears

If they don’t mind the size

Give my stomach to Milwaukee

If they run out of beer

Put my socks in a cedar box

Just get “em” out of here

Venus de Milo can have my arms

Look out! I’ve got your nose

Sell my heart to the junkman

And give my love to Rose

Give my feet to the footloose

Careless, fancy free

Give my knees to the needy

Don’t pull that stuff on me

Hand me down my walking cane

It’s a sin to tell a lie

Send my mouth way down south

And kiss my ass goodbye

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gloriamundi
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gloriamundi

Now, look here, Jonathan….

Jonathan
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Jonathan

I went to the doc the other day, for about the third time in 40 years.

She didn’t have a clue what was wrong with me, and advised me to wait until the symptom went away, which of course I’d been doing the last nine months.

I think men have got it right, Charles… don’t be a girl!!

Glad to have you back in the land of the dead,

love from Jonathan

Liam
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Liam

Good to know your back in the game Charles. As for your lesson learned, I`ve still to learn mine and if I don`t soon do so, my long suffering wife will bury me regardless.

Love the song!

gloriamundi
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gloriamundi

Hooray, you’re back on the keyboard again, Charles. Pleased to hear the lesson is learned, you don’t want to be donating any organs just yet! Seems to be hard to get the balance between “It can’t possibly just be a cold doc, I feel awful, as I told you the day before yesterday and the day before that” and “no, it’s nothing, I’ve got another arm, why should I bother the doctors, I’ll just use some superglue and a bandaid, the football’s on in a minute, stop fussing.” Or worse, as Louise says, blokes won’t go to the doc but… Read more »

louise
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Wazzup old boy thanks for the song, it did make me laugh. Hoping your all better and Doc has managed to diagnose your vauge symptons men are utterly rubbish, my hubby hasn’t been to the doctors in years or maybe forever. I’m always nagging him to go and get checked out when he moans at me about some random ailment for 3 months running! When you hit a grand old age things will change, when your daily trip to the doctors is the highlight of your life and Doc knows all about your family and how often your dogs go… Read more »