The Good Funeral Guide

This music video may interest you. Here’s some text from Consequence of Sound: 

Everyone deals with death in their own personal way, but psych-rock outfit Crystal Antlers offers a unique perspective on the topic in their music video for “Dog Days”. In said clip, a group of friends commemorate a dead friend by carrying around his/her ashes in various cups and cookie jars, as if said friend is still “one of the guys.” For a final tribute, they channel the Vikings by setting up a funeral pyre and spreading the friend’s ashes throughout the woods.

The song is called Dog Days. Find Crystal Antlers’ website here.

One woman, Sarah Elizabeth Schantz, tells the story of how she cared for her mother in death. Beautiful and unsentimental. 

Independent funeral directors in the greater Leicester area number only 25% of funeral Service providers.

Obviously, any building created by the state at the behest of its citizens should be faith-neutral. It’s a given, it goes without saying, so why say it?

Because the Co-op seems to have fallen foul of an unholy alliance of some townspeople of Shrewsbury in the matter of its £1.7 million refurb of the town’s crematorium.

Built in unenlightened times, Shrewsbury crem is distinguished, as you can see from the photo, by a large cross on its steeply pitched front gable, and another on its chimney of all places.

Reading between the lines of the newspaper report it looks as if the Co-op had quite properly resolved to get rid of the crosses until local vicar Revd Murray McBride assembled a posse of, I don’t know, Christian conservationists or somesuch, and, by means which are not described, corrupted the moral fibre of the Co-op and caused it to backtrack. Said a Co-op spokesperson, “The Co-operative Group is not altering the crematorium in any other way so we are able to confirm that the chimney and crosses will remain.”

We don’t question the earnest wellmeaningness of the Revd McBride, but sorry, mate, you don’t speak for everyone. A cross can only ever be an opt-in.

McBride asserts that “From a design point of view [the crematorium] is a great example of a building from the 1950s or 60s and the crosses form an integral part of that.”

What do you think?

Story in the Shropshire Star here

“I started taking better care of myself once I learned how expensive funerals are.”

Source

The Revd Paul Sinclair, proprietor of Motorcycle Funerals, occupies, in the unanimous opinion of all who toil round the clock here at the GFG-Batesville Tower, the status of national treasure. He’s a thoroughly good egg, a lovely man.

At weekends, when crem chimneys grow cold, Paul and his wife Marian like to travel the country preaching the gospel. Paul had his own church back in the day, in Willesden, a part of London through which Olympic VIPs are unlikely to be conveyed. He was extremely successful in building the congregation and securing the fabric of his church. He also achieved local fame for the posters he displayed outside his church. This is our favourite:

You can buy a copy of Paul’s book, Now Open Sundays, a selection of his best posters plus lots of good stories, here.

But you’re dying to hear him preach. Here he is. You’ll enjoy his storytelling skills, his humour and his reflections on the funeral trade. “Wouldn’t you just love this, when it comes to your funeral, if we didn’t have to tell lies about you?” “Have you ever been to a funeral and thought you went to the wrong one?”

Listen away…

The Reputation Trap by Paul and Marian Sinclair

You know I’ll never fade away,
You know I’ll never fade away,
You know I’ll never fade away,
You know I’ll never fade away.

But if I do, it’ll be because you asked me to.

You know I’ll never break in two,
You know I’ll never break in two,
You know I’ll never break in two,
You know I’ll never break in two,

But if I do, it’ll be because you asked me to,
But if I do, it’ll be because you asked me to.

I know you laugh behind my back,
I know you know I’m on my own,
But one day it will turn around,
And you’ll be waiting,
Knowing I’m not coming home.

You know I’ll never fade away,
You know I’ll never fade away,
You know I’ll never fade away,
You know I’ll never fade away.

But if I do, it’ll be because you asked me to,
But if I do, it’ll be because you asked me to.

Whatever you ask of me I will obey,
Give me the word, I’ll start fading away,
Whatever you ask of me I will obey,
Just give me the word, I’ll start fading!
I’m down on my knees could I get much more clear,
Give me the word and I will disappear,
But when I’m gone I’m gone and whatever you say I’ll obey dear.

You know I’ll never fade away,
You know I’ll never fade away,
You know I’ll never fade away,
You know I’ll never fade away.

But if I do, it’ll be because you asked me to,
But if I do, it’ll be because you asked me to.

This press release was issued this morning by Dignity in Dying following Geraldine McClelland’s death at the Dignitas clinic in Switzerland:

08 Dec 2011: My dying wish: please talk about my death
In September I decided to travel abroad to die. Having made the necessary arrangements, in October I contacted Dignity in Dying and asked for their help in making my views on assisted dying public. Below is an open letter to anyone and everyonewho is interested and concerned about the issue. I have asked Dignity in Dying to distribute it to the media on my behalf when I am in Zurich.

My name is Geraldine McClelland and I have chosen to die today.

I am 61 years old and am dying from lung and liver cancer, which metastasised from my breast cancer two years ago. I spent my working life at the BBC, producing programmes such as Watchdog, Food and Drink, Health Check and Crimewatch.

I have chosen to travel abroad to die because I can not have the death I want here in the UK. I would like to be able to choose to take medication to end my life if my suffering becomes unbearable for me, at home, with my family and friends around me. But the law in this country prevents me from doing so. As a result I am travelling abroad to take advantage of Switzerland’s compassionate law. I was worried this option would be taken away from me when the Swiss people were asked to vote on whether British people (and other non-Swiss) should be allowed to continue to have an assisted death there. Thankfully they voted overwhelmingly to continue to let people like me have the death I choose, albeit in a foreign country. I was fortunate to be able to retire ten years ago and have been able to thoroughly enjoy my retirement, travelling the world. The lung cancer is now causing me serious breathing problems, meaning I am largely confined to my flat.

I am not sad that I will die today. I am angry that because of the cowardice of our politicians I can’t die in the country I was born in, in my own home, but I am not sad. I feel sure this is the right decision for me and I am relieved that I won’t be forced to suffer any more. Please don’t feel sad for me either. If you feel anything at all when you read this letter then please turn it into a fight to change the law so that other people don’t have to travel abroad to die, and that those who are unable to because they can’t travel, or can’t afford the fees don’t have to attempt suicide at home or continue to suffer against their will. In that respect I am one of the lucky ones.

I believe that as part of my end of life care, which has otherwise been good, I should have been allowed to choose not to endure the last weeks of my life, and I believe you should have that choice when you are dying too. I don’t believe that my brother and sister should have to break the law so that they can be with me when I die. Your loved ones should not be in that position either. My decision is made, I choose to die on my own terms and with my family around me in Zurich, and it’s too late to change the law for me, but please, if you care about this issue at all please make your voice heard. I appreciate that it is a difficult subject, but when dying cannot be avoided, let us be compassionate enough and tolerant enough to respect choice.

Geraldine McClelland

www.campaignfordignityindying.org.uk

How can you give people clear simple information about the likely cost of the funeral they are organising?

It sounds easy but in practice it can be the hardest thing in the world. How do you listen, share, sympathise and support people in all sorts of distress? How do you help them start to shape the funeral they need to create and, at the same time, in all the emotion of the meeting, keep them up to date on the cost consequences of the choices they are making?

Vulnerable and bewildered, people are rarely at their best as consumers. It is a situation ripe with opportunities – for the outstanding and exceptional support the best provide and for the uneccessary additions and charges that the less scrupulous slip in.

But there is an alternative. A couple of weeks ago we featured a TV advertisement for Basic funerals of Canada. You can find it here if you’d like a refresher.

Basic Funerals, as part of it’s internet based approach, also has a page that allows you to calculate the cost of the funeral you are buying. The page is here. This is a screenshot.

We believe that this is emerging best practice. Without pressure it gives people the chance to look at costs and make choices. It is wonderfully transparent.

There are UK funeral directors who are also leading the way. Although they are not internet based service providers they are using their websites to help their customers do their research before they walk through the door.

Have a look at these sites for an idea of what can be done:

Sullivan and Sons of Dover: http://www.sullivanandson.co.uk/Costs.html

Kingfisher Funerals of St. Neots: http://kingfisherfunerals.co.uk/estimate.html

Powell and Family of Droitwich: http://www.powellandfamily.co.uk/funeral-cost-calculator

Peace Funerals of Sheffield: http://www.peacefunerals.co.uk/Lowcost.html

Richard Ward Funeral Services of Enderby: http://www.rwfs.co.uk/prices_comparisons.php

Of course, once you start this internet pricing, it allows you to draw comparisons with your competitors. Richard Ward does it. So – to devastating effect – does Powell and Family. Have a look at their page (the screenshot doesn’t do them justice, but click on it to go to the site itself):

These can’t be the only ones. In our mission to celebrate the best in the funeral industry, who else is out there using their website to provide real information and real choice? Or using other methods we’re not aware of? Let us know – we’d love to write their names large.