Though rain berated the street

An Taoiseach Enda Kenny carries the coffin of his mother Eithne from the Church of the Holy Rosary in Castlebar yesterday, assisted by his brothers John and Henry and his nephew, Henry Jnr. 

THEY came in their thousands to pay respect to her loved ones, and though rain berated the street outside all morning long, the Church of The Holy Rosary in Castlebar was alive with the kind of celebration of life that the family of the late Eithne Kenny had longed for.

Ah, no one does a funeral — or writes it up — like the Irish. “Though rain berated the street…”

Eithne Kenny was the mother of the Taoiseach — the same Taoiseach who recently berated the Church in the wake of the paedophile priest scandal, denouncing “the dysfunction, disconnection and elitism that dominates the culture of the Vatican to this day.” No matter, Eithne Kenny’s funeral mass was co-celebrated by a full line-up: Monsignor Joe Quinn, PP Knock, Fr JJ Doherty, CC Glencolmcille, Fr Brendan Hoban, Castlebar, Fr Martin O’Keefe, CC Glenisland, Fr Peter Quinn, Ballina, Fr Karl Burns, CC Westport, Fr Jack Garvey, PP Carnacon, Fr Peter Waldron, PP Keelogues, Fr Michéal Mac Gréil, S.J Westport and Reverend Val Rogers, Westport, representing The Church of Ireland. Father Michael Farragher acted as master of ceremonies and Canon John Cosgrove, PP Castlebar, acted as chaplain to the President’s aide-de-camp, Colonel Michael McMahon.

No one does a funeral like the Irish.

At the end of his address to the congregation, her son,  An Taoiseach Enda Kenny, asked those gathered not to applaud his words, but to “applaud the mothers of Ireland, those gone and those here, and to draw on their strengths as you face the challenges of life”.

Full report here

Wants out

Since a stroke six years ago Tony Nicklinson’s life has been, in his own words, ‘dull, miserable, demeaning, undignified and intolerable’. Tony can only move his head and his eyes. He has locked-in syndrome. 

And now he wants to die. 

In fact, he’s demanding the same right to end his life that any able-bodied person has. But because he is physically unable to kill himself, he’s issued proceedings in the High Court asking for a declaration that it is lawful for a doctor to terminate his life, with his consent and with him making the decision with full mental capacity.

Full story here

Hat-tip to Kingfisher 

Sal-ute

Yesterday’s funeral of mafia aristo Salvatore ‘Sal the Ironworker’ Montagna was notable for the thinness of the attendance — in contrast to the hundreds who turned up to say farewell to Nicolo Rizzuto Sr in November last year. Montagna was shot last Thursday as he left a house on Ile Vaudry. Mortally wounded, leapt into the river to escape his attacker.

It seems that Montagna, onetime acting boss of the Bonanno family crime business in New York, was manoeuvring to become head of the Rizzuto empire in Montreal.

Photos here.

More about Sal here.

The right job for a good person

Quaker Social Action’s Down to Earth project in the Ease End of London is a practical service helping people living on low incomes to have the funeral they want at a price they can afford. They are brilliant and they have asked us to bring your attention to this vacancy:

Development worker — 
£25,005 – 36 hours, permanent [Based on NJC scale 26-69. All appointments are at bottom of scale.]
We are seeking a development worker for our innovative Down to Earth project. Launched in 2010, Down to Earth supports people on low incomes to cope with the practical, financial and emotional challenges of arranging a funeral. You will report in to the project manger and be responsible for coordinating a team of volunteer mentors. You will also have the chance to contribute to the development and delivery of community conversation workshops, promoting positive discussions around death, funerals and how they are financed.

The ideal candidate will have experience of working with volunteers in a community setting and/or designing or delivering training and workshops. The role will involve working with vulnerable people, so you will also be an excellent communicator, sensitive to the issues surrounding death, bereavement and life on a low income.

The closing date is 10am on Monday 12th December 2011.  Interviews will be held on Friday 16th December 2011.

Full details of the post can be found at:

http://www.quakersocialaction.com/vacancies

Angelina Jolie a funeral director?

 

Sometimes you have a tantalising glimpse of what might have been. If things had turned out differently, the path less travelled chosen, Angelina Jolie could have been a Funeral Director.

In an interview recently, the actor said that:

It sounds like this very strange, eccentric, dark thing to do but in fact I lost my grandfather and was very upset with his funeral. How somebody passes and how family deals with this passing and what death is should be addressed in a different way. If this whole acting thing didn’t work out that was going to be my path.”

Would Brad have been a bearer? We can only wonder.

The full article is here.

Burning news

Two interesting crematorium stories for you.

The Sydney Morning Herald, in a story colourfully titled Crematoriums add corpse power to electricity grid, reports that Durham (Eng) crematorium is planning to “use the heat generated during cremation to provide enough electricity to power 1500 televisions. A third burner is to be used to heat the site’s chapel and offices.” How the Grid sorts exclusive use for tellies is not described. But it’s an eminently pragmatic re-use of energy and we can only hope the commonsensical, channel-hopping folk of Durham go with it. Intriguing, isn’t it, how cremation is closing the gap on its greener competitors, Resomation and Promession?

Meanwhile, in the Midlands, there’s a naming tussle going on concerning the new crem being built midway between Stourport and Kidderminster. Wyre Forest District Council wants to call it Wyre Forest crematorium but, in a heartwringing plea, the burghers of Stourport have begged for it to be named after their town. Civic pride is involved, and the izzat of Stourport. Councillor Gary Talbot has issued this (rather foot-stamping?) entreaty: “It is in Stourport so I think it should be named after Stourport. The town deserves more recognition and respect. We get hit time and time again. If it was in Kidderminster, I don’t think it would be named after Wyre Forest.”

We had no idea that civic pride involves having a facility for incinerating the dead named after you. 

Source 1  Source 2

Taha Muhammed Ali

In October a great Palestininian poet died. Taha Muhammed Ali was self taught and, all his life, earned his living as a shopkeeper in Nazareth. He was witness all of the agonies and upheavals of the time – but but when he thought of his own death dreamt only of sleep and tea. Here’s the poem he wrote:

Tea and Sleep

If, over this world, there’s a ruler
who holds in his hand bestowal and seizure,
at whose command seeds are sewn,
as with his will the harvest ripens,
I turn in prayer, asking him
to decree for the hour of my demise,
when my days draw to an end,
that I’ll be sitting and taking a sip
of weak tea with a little sugar
from my favorite glass
in the gentlest shade of the late afternoon
during the summer.
And if not tea and afternoon,
then let it be the hour
of my sweet sleep just after dawn.

*

And may my compensation be —
if in fact I see compensation —
I who during my time in this world
didn’t split open an ant’s belly,
and never deprived an orphan of money,
didn’t cheat on measures of oil
or violate a swallow’s veil;
who always lit a lamp
at the shrine of our lord, Shihab a-Din,
on Friday evenings,
and never sought to beat my friends
or neighbors at games,
or even those I simply knew;
I who stole neither wheat nor grain
and did not pilfer tools
would ask —
that now, for me, it be ordained
that once a month,
or every other,
I be allowed to see
the one my vision has been denied —
since that day I parted
from her when we were young.

*

But as for the pleasures of the world to come,
all I’ll ask
of them will be —
the bliss of sleep, and tea.

If you’re minded you can hear him read it here. The arabic version is first (worth it just for the sounds and rhythms) and then the translation.

US Funerals Online Seeing a Huge Increase in the Number of People Looking to Compare Funeral Prices

Posted by Charles

Are there, we wonder, any lessons British undertakers can learn from this article on PRWeb:

Many funeral homes today have their own websites, but most of these seem to have forgotten to include information about the one thing that is on most people’s mind. How much does a funeral cost? There is no other industry that hides their prices in the way the funeral industry does. Research conducted by US Funerals Online revealed that over 80% of funeral home web sites do not disclose actual costs.

Nicholas Ille, owner and founder of US Funerals Online, said, “Gone are the days when families would just order the services from a funeral home, without even inquiring about the costs.”

Baby boomers are becoming increasingly interested in doing things their own way, which can also be driven financially. Why have expensive funerals when the money would be better being left to our children? As people live longer their senior years can now be one expense after the next, care homes, nursing homes and hospices all come at a hefty price, and then comes a final bill that needs to be paid.

Over the past 18 months, US Funerals Online has been working closely with local family-owned and operated funeral homes across the U.S offering a low cost funeral option. “We believe that every family in America should be able to locate a low cost funeral provider, if that is what they choose” says Nicholas. The US Funerals Online web site lists all funeral homes by city/state and clearly identifies the low cost providers, including their price. By including all funeral homes in our directory, this makes comparing costs between different funeral homes, only a phone call away.

Could something like this happen in the UK? Why not?

Here at the GFG we don’t obsess about price, we obsess about service. And transparency. British undertakers’ websites are, many of them, as dire as it gets when describing their service offer, far far worse than any other commercial sector. They are amateurish and subliterate. They rarely talk to you, the reader, they talk about us and about ancestor Albert, founder of our barnacle-encrusted undertaking dynasty — here he is conducting a funeral in 1921 (cue hazy b&w photo of bow-legged man leading a bloated Austin down a high street). Dammit, WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR ME NOW??

When these undertakers do talk about their clients they talk about them as if they had nothing in common with the punter reading the website: “We recognise that our customers are individuals and each will have their own ways of coping with bereavement.” Tcha! Where’s the human being behind that? Oh, there he is in a Gilbert and Sullivan top hat with his big black cars fanned out behind him. HOW MUCH DO YOU CHARGE?!??

All undertakers know that more and more people are shopping around.

Those undertakers who are upfront about their prices are doing very well.  

As are those who come across as human beings like us. Hint: people do business with people. 

Undertakers: go figure.

Funerals-Online here.

Where do you stand on funeral pyres?

The Natural Death Centre, veteran pioneer of the better, greener funerals movement, passionately and vocally campaigns for open-air cremation on sustainably sourced wood pyres. If you want to find out why, be patient, I’ll give you the link in a minute.

Where do you stand on funeral pyres? Do you embrace them or would you stamp them out? 

The NDC would like to know. You can tell them with one easy click of your mouse by doing the online poll on their website. Hang on!

The GFG, of course, expresses no view on this matter. We like to represent all of the people all of the time.

If you want to register a no, close your eyes now.

If you want to register a yes, go to the foot of this page here.

Police arrest dead man at his own funeral

There’s a lovely story in today’s Mail about the funeral of a runaway solicitor, Andrew Paterson, who died from a heart attack on the beach at (nice way to) Goa.

Paterson was on the run from the old bill. Had been since 1987 when the long arm almost caught up with him in the matter of a bit of dodgy dealing.

Once abroad, Paterson changed his name to Mark Attwood and made a flagrant fortune building holiday resorts in exotic places. He married three times, fathered six children and was loved by all who knew him.

His last wish was to be buried in the churchyard of his tiny home village of Begelly in Wales. So his wife (#3) brought him home and all went to plan until… the coppers rocked up. Finally they had their man! They let the funeral go ahead, but intervened before he could be buried. They took Mr Paterson away for fingerprinting, for, in their own words, ‘Andrew Paterson failed to attend Guildford Crown Court on October 13 in 1987 to answer conspiracy to defraud charges and a warrant is still outstanding.’ Having made sure they’d got their man, albeit posthumously, they let the burial go ahead.

He must have been a hell of a good guy. His funeral was attended by every one of his six children and each of his three wives.

Full story here.

For no good reason I recall this Tommy Copper joke: The police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off. 

The Good Funeral Guide
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