Weighing the End of Life

ONE weekend last year, we asked our vet how we would know when it was time to put down Byron, our elderly dog. Byron was 14, half blind, partly deaf, with dementia, arthritis and an enlarged prostate. He often walked into walls, stood staring vacantly with his tail down, and had begun wandering and whining for reasons we could not always decipher.

Our vet said he used the 50 percent rule: Were at least half of Byron’s days good days? Or was it two bad days for every good? When you get to the latter, he explained, it’s time.

This conversation gave me pause for two reasons. First, what did Byron want? Was 50 percent good enough for him? How about 70? Or 20? There was, of course, no way to know.

Which brings me to my second reason for pause. When not serving as faithful servant to our tiny dog, I am a geriatrician. Because older adults have a greater range of needs and abilities than any other age group, and because there is a national shortage of geriatricians, I care for the frailest and sickest among them.

To many people’s surprise, most of my patients are as satisfied with their lives as they were when they were less debilitated. But this isn’t true for everyone, and some are eager to say they’ve had enough.

Read the whole article in the New York Times here

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/03/opinion/sunday/weighing-the-end-of-life.html?pagewanted=2

Meet the HOT widows

When Mishael Porembski lost her husband, she found the steady stream of pot lucks and coffee clubs wasn’t easing the grief. So she decided instead to sweat through her grief by training for an Iron Girl triathlon. 

She felt so much better for doing it that she created HOT Widows and invited other widows to join her. They get HOT in the conventional sense, through their exertions, and HOT in an acronymic sense. HOT stands for Healthy Optimistic Thriving. There’s a team of them training for the next Iron Girl event — and their stories are both brave and touching. 

Sounds like a brilliant form of grief therapy to us. Go Team HOT Widow!

Trebles all round

From the Evening Standard

Dignity, the funeral care specialist, has again shown there is only one line of work guaranteed to be recession-proof: death.

The group increased the number of funerals it performed to 63,200 last year as it benefited from a rise in deaths in Britain to 551,000.

This helped buy cialis from mexico Dignity, the UK’s only-listed funeral care operator, post a 13% rise in full-year pre-tax profits to £45.4?million, with revenues up 9% to £229.6 million, driven by its raising the average cost of a funeral to £3500.

Death in the community

From the At Least I Have A Brain blog: 

Today at Mass  we had an elderly Parishioner to bury, who had no mourners.

Not one.

Empty pews at the front.

It was a stark statement that the little man had been married, had no family, his wife had died, and once he went into a nursing home he became forgotten about by any contacts.

but you know what, the Priest still read a Eulogy at the Homily, 6 hefty Parishioners carried him out, all of my choir sang him out of the Church, and his attendees were the Parishioners.

It was a very poignant statement, and yet a very strong statement of Community.

But i have spoken so much about it since this morning , and was very glad that he got as fullsome (if more lonely) a farewell as any one else would have.

It reminds us of the strength of faith communities. No lonely funerals for them as there are for so many secularists. 

If you watched The Fixer, you may remember Alex Polizzi’s community volunteering idea. 

Actually, it was our idea, and it’s the researchers who were incredibly enthusiastic when we proposed it to them . We think it’s a good idea, too. We’re developing it ourselves, now, because we don’t think it can be all that hard to make it work. Yes, of course there’s an element of risk involved. But the risk of a volunteer making off with a bereaved person’s life savings can be reduced to close to zero with proper assessment and oversight. It’s all in the systems and processes. 

And in the event of the funeral of someone like the lonely man above, there’d a ready-made community of folk to come along and give him a decent sendoff. It is often said that communities have disintegrated beyond repair, but it is notable that where there is need or opportunity, communities display an impressive capacity for forming effective congregations whose activity promotes cohesion and engagement.

Remember how quickly that board filled up on that rainy day? 

Getting off the rock

The indefatigable Tom Walkinshaw, to whose market  survey many readers of the blog contributed, is coming closer to realising his dream of launching ashes into space. He has given up the day job in order to make it happen. 

He already has a prototype of the satellite that would carry the ashes. It is about the size of a Rubik’s Cube and would hold the ashes of around 40 people. The satellite would be attached to a commercial rocket and launched in the US.

The satellite would then either burn up in space or return to Earth, meaning there would be no space junk or environmental impact. Alba Orbital would also offer a memorial service before the launch and a chance to watch the launch on the internet.

Says Tom:

“There’s an opportunity now in Scotland to be a world leader in small satellites and we want to give it a go.”

More here

Dog saves owner from death

A happy dog story for those of you who like happy dog stories. It’s from The Times (£)

A German shepherd in the South of France has kept its owner from committing suicide by knocking aside the rifle that she was about to use to shoot herself in the heart.

The dog’s owner, 63, had gone into the garden of her home in Sorgues, near Avignon, with the intention of taking her own life with a .22-calibre rifle.

She fired a few test shots to make sure that the weapon was working and then turned it round and pointed it at her heart, a local police officer said.

“Just as she pulled the trigger, her dog jumped on her and diverted the shot,” the officer said.

She did wound herself in the chest but did not lose consciousness and was found by her husband.

She was taken to hospital but the injury is believed not to be life-threatening, police said.

Crowdfunding for funerals?

We don’t do crowdfunding for funerals in this country. It would be a great way of helping people who can’t afford one. In the US there seems to be a much stronger tradition of appealing to the wider community. 

Hence the website above, GoFundMe

On it is the appeal pictured above by a British couple wanting to raise a headstone for their little boy, Daniel. They’re asking for £700 and they’ve got to £650. You might like to help them over the line.

Our GFG techie genius, who also comes up with our best ideas (he is often called the brains of the GFG), likes this so much that he wants to create his own charitable website dedicated to people living in the UK. We’re right behind him. Britain is, after all, one of the most charitable nations on Earth. What better cause? 

Find GoFundMe here

Gong With The Wind

A Musical Tribute & Dedication for ~ Mrs Emily H Levine~ July 13, 1924 – February 18, 2013

Gong & Original Music “Coming Sun” Performed and Composed by ~ David Leclerc

Location ~Myakka River Park~ Sarasota, Florida February 2013

Natural burial grounds: you need one of these. 

MAB matters

The good people at the Memorial Awareness Board (MAB) have written to tell us all about their latest, very successful excursion. Here is their account: 

The Memorial Awareness Board (MAB) campaigns for memorials in stone and is the voice for all UK Memorial Masons. Exhibiting for the first time this year at the Who Do You Think Are? Live event at Olympia, London (22nd – 24th Feb) the stand showcased using stone memorials as a very important part of tracing one’s roots. 

The 3-day event was a great success with nearly 14,000 visitors attending. Many topics were covered such as stone memorials for genealogy, the different types of memorials, memorial options after cremation and advice on the different inscriptions on headstones. Up to 2000 visitors came to the MAB stand to talk to industry specialists and read through relevant literature. 

A very popular attraction to the stand was a working stonemason who gave lessons in stone carving. There was the opportunity to have a go at stone rubbings and be in with the chance of winning a stone plaque! 

The BIG Question proved very popular, we asked; “Would you prefer to be buried or cremated”? The results were most interesting with 39% saying buried and 61% saying cremated. These percentages contradict conventional wisdom on cremation versus burial rates in the UK and could suggest a swing back to burial. 

Mike Dewar, MAB Campaign Director commented, “The crucial part played by memorialisation in genealogy was established at the show. The stand was permanently crowded with visitors showing interest and enthusiasm about memorials and memorialisation”. 

To find out further information including the photo competition with a £1000 prize we are running this summer, please visit the website: www.rememberforever.org.uk 

You can also view all the photos from the event plus listen to an industry blogger interviewing a Board member as well as keep up-to-date with all issues on stone memorialisation.  

Follow us on Facebook: facebook.com/memorialawarenessboard

And Twitter: twitter.com/memorial_issues 

ED’S NOTE: Does that photo competition competition appeal to you? You could win it. 

Basket cases

 Here’s an interesting claim from The Co-operative Group

“The Co-operative has a long tradition of leading the way on fair trade and the launch of the first-ever Traidcraft endorsed fairly traded coffin range at our funeral homes is a natural, if unusual, progression.” 

This first-ever status is endorsed by Traidcraft:

Larry Bush, Marketing Director, Traidcraft, said: “We are delighted to be working in partnership with The Co-operative in a brand new area of fair trade.  We have a strong track record of working together with the Co-operative Group to launch fair trade firsts.’ 

The Co-op must have put out a press release about this (we can’t find it) because the story is everywhere. We pasted a sentence from the article into Google and it threw up 213 results, all of them, pretty much, newspapers. That’s a fantastic strike rate for a press release, a coup for the Co-op – and an insight into the quality of what we are urged to believe is bona fide news, not propaganda served up as news. 

The Daily Telegraph version of the ‘story’ further tells us that: 

‘Green funerals, where clients choose materials from sustainable sources and carbon emissions from the day are kept at a minimum, have grown by 20 per cent in recent years and are now worth more than £8 million.’   

Goodness only knows where they sourced those figures. The article goes on to tell us that:

The bamboo and willow coffins are made in Bangladesh, where communities are given a fair price and money goes toward schools and health care.

Although wooden coffins approved as “rainforest friendly” have been fashionable for some time, these are the first coffins to be designated “fair trade” by official certifiers.

Traidcraft, a charity that promotes Fairtrade around the globe, said the coffins are the first to bring in money and fair working practices to a community in the developing world.

An early version of the story states that these coffins are being sold by the Co-operative Group ‘as part of its ethical strategy’. A more relevant and pressing ethical strategy, we’d suggest, would be a rededication to foundational values and the provision of affordable funerals to the poor and the disadvantaged. 

Because we’ve been very busy here at the GFG Batesville-Shard we never got around to finding out what William Wainman at Ecoffins thinks about all this. After all, he has been selling fairtrade coffins for as long as anyone can remember. We assumed he might be cross. So we very grateful to those of you who sent in his riposte:

Ecoffins started manufacturing bamboo coffins in 1999 and is the only World Fair Trade Organisation (WFTO) manufacturer of coffins in the world. We were accredited as a member of the WFTO in 2007 following two rigorous independent assessments of our factory in China. This allows us to use the WFTO logo, providing a guarantee that we are Fair Trade suppliers. Additionally, all the companies which we buy products from outside the EU are also fully accredited members of the WFTO. 

This is absolutely not the case with those coffins Co-operative Funeralcare will now be selling. Their manufacturers are not WFTO accredited and therefore will not be able to claim Fair Trade status for their bamboo or willow coffins. They should also not make claims that imply that they are the first to do this in the UK. 

Copies of the WFTO assessors’ report on our own factory can be viewed at www.ecoffins.co.uk/fairtrade.aspx 

Are we to suppose that Co-op Funeralcare was ignorant of the Ecoffins accreditation? Or that they simply didn’t let it get in the way of a good story? 

As for those who credulously published the story, shame on your fact-checking. 

Hat-tip to MJ, DB and JU

The Good Funeral Guide
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