Condolences

 

Condolences

Please do not ask

If I am now recovering

Or if I see the light

At the tunnel’s end.

Nor speak about relief — or burdens lifted.

And, worst of all, new starts.

Please, please don’t ask

If I am getting through —

Have come to terms

Or find my life is back on track.

Of course I live each day to each

And gladly smile

My coping, to “prepare a face

To meet the faces that you meet”.

What else is there to do?

In any case, you would not want to know

The daily loss that lasts eternally.

Just, please, don’t ask.

 

Written by Frances Gibb  after the death of her husband. Quoted by Matthew Parris in today’s Times (£)

 

 

Diagonal Daze in St Mary’s Churchyard, Twyford

Posted by Eleanor Whitby

I was wandering around a churchyard on that one sunny  summer’s day, as you do, and came upon a few really lovely headstones.

The first was surrounded by a burst of colour in a green area of flat memorials in the council owned section – I loved the smooth, pebble like surface and the little indentation which created a bird bath.

I moved round to the church owned section and was taken aback because all the graves were at an angle to the path – obviously positioned to face East, but it created a diagonal vista across the cemetery which I’d never seen before. There must have been a fashion for rough hewn stones as there were several – but I liked this one’s inscription:

” Oh! Call it not death – ‘Tis a holy sleep”

Then I came across the only wooden memorial – cleft from a huge piece of oak. The owner’s name long lost in the ravages of wind and weather – but just look at how  it has dried and stretched and shrunk and cracked, yet still stands tall and proud.

Hiding amongst holly trees,  a prickly barrier against would be intruders to the peace of this long lost grave.This next one then made me stop still for quite a long while – hand hewn by a loving father? husband? brother? So poignant in its home-madeness – I had to touch it and run my fingers over the clumsy lettering that had been chiselled with such love.

As I made my way out, my eye was drawn to this small headstone set back from the path, almost lost by all the cremation plot markers. The angled words completing my diagonal day. What a wonderful inscription, I resolved to make an effort to be more of a light!

The Good Funeral Guide
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