Clergy: watch out for the mystery mourner!

From yesterday’s Independent:

The Church of England is asking its followers to give feedback on funerals and christenings in a drive to make services more popular.

The Archbishop’s Council has commissioned independent researchers to delve into how the Church ministers to its faithful at the key moments of birth and death. The research is partially motivated by concerns over the gradual decline in people using churches for christenings, weddings and funerals now that secular alternatives are readily available.

The two projects will seek feedback from congregations about what improvements could be made. A similar scheme began five years ago in the Bradford and Oxford dioceses to examine weddings, for which brides and grooms were asked to “rate” their marriage on subjects as varied as the friendliness of the vicar and whether church staff were helpful.

Read it all here. Hat tip to Dan Phillips for this. 

Quote of the day

“All doctors have the knowledge and – usually – the means to end their lives … and quite a few use this privilege, even if it doesn’t appear on their death certificates. Doctors are also more likely to have medical friends and relations prepared to assist if necessary. As a doctor, this is a great comfort to me and I don’t see why enabling the unmedical to share this comfort is wrong in an age when deference and privilege are increasingly unfashionable.”

Dr Colin Brewer in evidence to the Commission on Dying, December 2011

All the world’s a stage

 

“A couple of parting thoughts on the development of new ritual for secular funerals before I switch off the computer for Christmas,” wrote our religious correspondent, Richard Rawlinson some days before the onset of festivities. Yikes, sorry, Richard; we lost that post in the tinsel. 

We’re not letting it go, though; your thoughts about ritual are always welcome, and they have not been rendered obsolete by the passage of time. By happy coincidence, Gloria Mundi has a piece on ritual waiting to go out tomorrow. So this’ll work just fine side by side with his.  

In a thread on a recent blog, Gloria Mundi has said: ‘I don’t think we’ll get far in the development of new rituals for secular funerals until we stop arguing about belief and concentrate on shape and meaning… Let’s move forwards, shall we?’

I’ve said previously that it’s up to secularists to take up the mantle to create any new ritual, but the future is best formed by looking at the past.

As an exercise aiming to be helpful, I read a funeral mass, deleting the inapplicable (references that require belief) and attempted to adapt a few lines to secular taste. The exercise failed abysmally as most content ended up on the cutting room floor as it’s nearly all God-centred. Shape and meaning were lost due to the need for belief.

I pondered a few other exercises involving looking at political, legal and educational institutions, sports, festivals, and life cycle ceremonies. Much that I like an intuitive quick fix, I concluded this subject requires a more laborious, academic approach, where ritual itself is more thoroughly defined.

Ritual is paradoxical. It’s a social construct yet it defines a portion of reality. It’s intrinsically conventional – repetitive, formal, precise, stylised – yet requires collective imagination.

Too much analysis of a fictional drama pierces the illusion of reality that allows it to take on dangerous matters. The enemy of ritual is the spoilsport who is unwilling to voluntarily suspend belief, incapable of allowing the symbols of a man-made production to take on authentic meaning.

When blatantly designed by masters-of-ceremony and lacking the history and sanctity of traditional religious symbolism, rituals can seem too self-conscious, shallow and abstract to arouse deep emotion and profound conviction.

However, ritual can certainly be either sacred or secular. The key is placing the right symbolic acts within the framework of secular funerals. This might involve formalising the entire framework of the ceremony. The Mass is split into the Introductory Rites (greeting, blessing); Penitential Rite; Liturgy of the Word; Liturgy of the Eucharist (the big one); and the concluding blessing. By sequencing and scripting events, you eliminate potential disruption, unpredictability, confusion and accident.

Nor does sequencing deny individuality. Secular ceremony already alternates between highly specific acts – toasts, salutes, pledges, oaths – with open spaces for improvisation and particularisation – speeches, songs, and so forth.

Some of these structured, predictable – even unchanging – segments provide opportunities for participants to establish their individual emotions, identities, motives and needs. Others allow the ritual masters of ceremony to convey the specific, idiosyncratic messages which are unique to the occasion in hand.

Open sections can be short or protracted, can involve several people or one, can be conventional or new, but must be coordinated to ensure they’re a scene in the same play. If they fail as accurate and authentic metaphors, emotional momentum will flag.

A blessed new year to you all. 

Love letter to self

The Co-operative Funeralcare has helped generations of families through difficult times, providing care support and reassurance when it matters most.

The Co-operative Funeralcare has become the country’s leading funeral director because of the high quality of care we deliver through our people working at a local level, who are backed by resources and expertise that only a trusted national organisation can provide.

The Co-operative Funeralcare offers a genuinely local funeral service backed by the strength and reassurance of a unique, caring organisation. Our top priority is to provide the best possible services for our clients and to invest in the communities that we serve. 

It must be true; it says so in the Northwich Guardian

Ashes

Ashes at the funeral home
six hundred still to be collected
small boxes, cardboard, filed in rows
a kind of shell grit for the chickens
fifteen years six hundred still
that somehow somewhere should be scattered:
sown like seed across a paddock
thrown as gravel upon water
or set there upon the mantelpiece
and added to at parties
or dug perhaps in some well-loved
old gardner’s acidic corner
that needs a spot of lime
or tossed aloft like hard confetti
at weddings in the park
where at the end he might have sat
or stowed in brass behind a name
the cemetery as mail exchange
and postbox minus key.
How is it that they cannot face this morning’s meeting long deferred
this grey irrelevance of ashes against what dawn and memory bring
so vertical and three-dimensioned
though growing slowly blurred?
They cannot bear to sign the book
a woman at the counter holds
so long inured to tears.
And some themselves
who would have come
are patient on the shelves.

Geoff Page is an Australian poet. You can read more about him (and more of his poems) here.

Obits with ah bits

If you’re the sort of person who likes to settle in front of the fire with a nice column of obits, there’re none we rate higher than those in the Times Colonist, in Canada. They’re not all brilliant, of course. But every so often you’ll encounter one which isn’t a catalogue of biographical facts that merely tell you what the person did, but, instead, a corker which tells you what the person was like. Here’s a good example:

OSEPHSON, Blanche Passed away suddenly on December 22nd at her home for the last ten years in Victoria, BC. Born May 19, 1920, the only daughter of poor Russian immigrants, Blanche was a first generation New Yorker. She married her devoted husband Herman of 45 years and started their lives together. They moved to Las Vegas in the 50’s and then to Los Angeles in the 60’s. Together their family grew and hard work brought success.

Through life’s twists and turns, she never forgot where she came from. Blanche always kept the family and the home first before anything else. She was generous to the people she loved, opinionated, passionate and outspoken about what was right and wrong. Mother, grandmother, and great grandmother she will be missed. She is survived by her son Maxwell, daughter-in-law Wendy, daughter Miriam (Michaels), grandsons Matthew (Celina) and David, granddaughter Emma, and great grandson Rhys.

Blanche will be laid to rest between her beloved Eugene and Herman on December 30th, 11:00 am Eden Memorial Park, Missions Hills, Ca.

As she quite often said “other than that, there is not much else doing.”

Later in the same column there’s this: 

CLARK, John Anthony 14 February 1941 – 25 December 2011 My life is over. After almost 26,000 days on Planet Earth I have moved on. The Grim Reaper called since I did not overcome cancer. Life began in Saltburn-by-the-Sea, Yorkshire, the only child of Nellie and Jack Clark, in a working class environment. After a happy childhood I surprised myself by obtaining a Degree in Sociology from the University of Leeds…

Read it all here

The Good Funeral Guide
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