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I can so relate to this. Having someone else do a wright up seemed to be such a welcome help at the time but at what a price…
Deeply depressing. The key statement for me in the whole post seems to be this: “Initially, we were going to write the eulogy ourselves, but found the whole process really difficult because it was too soon to process fully what we wanted to say.” So, given a little more time and the right sort of support, they could have managed it. WHAT’S THE GODDAM RUSH? Why do people keep getting getting shoved along into hasty arrangements, and by whom? They could have done this themselves, perhaps with the celebrant just framing it and sorting out the procedural stuff. Having said… Read more »
sorry, that should be “sick,” not “sicl.” Shouldn’t comment whilst I’m still cross.
Of course, sometimes people really can’t manage a tribute and need to tell the celebrant what it is they want said for them. But these people could have done it. Bah!
I so agree with Gloria. Of course we all try to put a positive spin, but the positive spin in this case should have been as the daughter pointed out (eg) – she liked the social side of tennis, not the attempt at a grand slam. It sounds like this was a poor celebrant, but the family has no chance to rectify, after the event. Gloria’s questions are pertinent. Why the rush? Why was the celebrant doing the whole thing? Surely one of the first questions to ask a family is “would anyone like to speak at the funeral?” The… Read more »
One crucial point – the celebrant should have sent the family a copy of the tribute to approve BEFORE reading it out. I never read a tribute without knowing the family has checked it first, not just for accurate names and dates but to ensure it’s a true reflection of the deceased. The family need to recognise the person being talked about and feel comfortable with the type of language used to describe them. What a shame this didn’t happen…
Hear, hear, Nicola. So many celebrants think this is something they are doing for a family. Mistake. They are doing it WITH them.