It is customary to dread funerals and only to want them to be over and done with. A funeral, so the reckoning goes, has to be the ultimate forgettable event.

Hopefully, this is not now your view.

A funeral is a great occasion, a great rite of passage. It has all the elements of all the other rites of passage with the majestic addition of finality. It is arguably the greatest of them all.

You will know when you have created a really fitting funeral ceremony because that is when you will find yourself, yes, actually looking forward to it, and only wishing the person who’s died could be there too. If this is not how you expected to feel, it is exactly how you should feel.

When the funeral is over you can expect to take huge pleasure in a job well done.

It’ll make all the difference in the days, months and years ahead.