The things they say

I have to say, that we use the phrase ‘last thing you can do for them’ but we are talking about carrying the coffin and lowering it into the grave. And the phrase ‘Loved one’ is one we go to any lengths to avoid uttering. God I hate it. It is both saccharin, patronising, and let’s face it, often untrue. How dare a stranger presume to define the complicated relationships we have with those close to us in such a fashion. But it does create a complicated linguistic whirlpool from which we struggle to emerge.

I have a friend – a retired professor, full of common sense, with a well intact sense of humour and supported by good friends. He told me the other day that he came away from an emotionally bruising encounter with the funeral professional who ‘arranged’ his father’s funeral feeling like he didn’t quite come up to the mark. Definite undertones of ‘if you really loved him, you’d plump for the deluxe….and if you really want to show your appreciation of him, I’d recommend you choose….’ Distress sales, isn’t that what they’re called?