Who needs ’em?

In their new book, Final Rights (they gave me a sneak preview), Joshua Slocum, Executive Director of the Funeral Consumers Alliance, and Lisa Carlson, Executive Director of the Funeral Ethics Organisation, will publish state by state tables demonstrating how many excess funeral directors there are in the US. They base their calculation on the head of population it takes to keep an undertaker busy. Too many undertakers means too few funerals. The consequent cost of wages plus maintenance of premises and vehicles drives the cost of funerals up. Two a week’s not enough.

It’s an interesting exercise, and I was for a while tempted to suppose that the same ratio applies in this country. We have too many undertakers, that’s for sure. How many fewer ought there to be?

And then I reflected that we have three sorts of undertaker in Britain: the old school dinosaurs, businesses which have moved with the times; and the bright young things – the new start-ups. We are in the middle of an important and dynamic evolutionary phase. We don’t need to kill any off, there’s going to be a Darwinian dying off, and my money’s on the up-to-date and the bright young things surviving: those who are genuinely fresh or renewed in their outlook – the idealistic ones – and most certainly not the replica dinosaurs who are inspired by vanity merely (and there are a few of those).

Today I went to visit a new start-up, Bespoke Funerals. I always enjoy calling in at this poignant phase of business development and drinking in the heady mixture of excitement and terror. They’re ready to go – but the phone hasn’t rung yet. WILL IT??!! It’s a desperately slow and uncertain business, getting off the ground.

The business belongs to Maggie Brinklow, sometime guest poster on this blog. She is working in conjunction with Mark Elliott, who will be using her premises and recruiting clients further north. Together, they make a great team – independent of each other and also collaborative.

Both, of course, have had experiences in the funeral industry which make them determined to do things differently, as they think they ought to be done. They are part of an emerging orthodoxy of gloom-free premises, a front window you can see through, an open-ended arrangements meeting and the creation of, well, as they themselves put it, bespoke funerals.

I think they’re going to be great. They come to it with experience as well as idealism. Mark is a wonderfully gifted embalmer; Maggie is a civil celebrant. Above all, they are incredibly nice people. The only anxiety which declared itself, as we chatted, was what people would think if they looked into an undertaker’s window and saw people laughing. They do it all the time.

Do we need yet another undertaker? No! Do we need these undertakers? YES! It’s up to them to create an awareness of that need – that’s business – and I very much hope they will. Good luck!

 

Prison Terminal

Prison Terminal is a moving cinema verité documentary that breaks through the walls of one of America’s oldest maximum security prisons to tell the story of the final months in the life of a terminally ill prisoner and the trained hospice volunteers—they themselves prisoners—who care for him.

The film draws from footage shot over a six-month period behind the walls of the Iowa State Penitentiary entering the personal lives of the prisoners as they build a prison-based, prisoner-staffed hospice program from the ground up.

Prison Terminal demonstrates the fragility, as well as the holistic benefits, of a prison-based, prisoner-staffed hospice program and provides a fascinatingand often poignant account of how the hospice experience can profoundly touch even the forsaken lives of the incarcerated.

Very good website accompanying this. The Essays page is full of good things. Click here.

Roundup

Here’s a roundup of news stories I’ve tweeted in the last fortnight. It looks rather a lot — but I try never to fob you off with quantity at the expense of quality. I hate having my own time wasted, so I try hard not to waste yours. Take your pick and enjoy — or gobble the lot and gorge yourself.

Before you do, though… If you missed last night’s Dispatches on end-of-life care, do catch it on 4OD. I don’t know what you’ll think of it — or did, if you’ve seen it. For me, it was the contrast with the care given to those at the start of life that most struck me. We don’t have elders in our society, it seems, only disgusting old people.

Upgrade work at Shrewsbury crem ditched. Aren’t crems easy targets of cuts?! http://bbc.in/dK68PX

Satan’s undertaker’s online memo site is http://bit.ly/eRn1HT Is it any relation of this: http://bit.ly/ebnw8e? Wha gwan?

Priest makes off with bones of child saint – http://bit.ly/gCyKd4

“The Freudian implications of filming a sex scene in the shadow of a soaring obelisk” – http://bit.ly/g4fTKF

Some interesting #funeral industry analysis here- much that is typical – http://bit.ly/elobdS

“Now that I’m dead, I want to tell you a few things.” Last letters. I love this site – http://bit.ly/cRpFuX

DeathRef Death Reference Desk

by GoodFunerals

Happy Valentine’s Day darlings. http://fb.me/T6DJ7iOE

What’s the fuel cost of a cremation in the UK? Guess! Okay, I’ll tell you… £16.25

Lovely topical mezzotint on the Morbid Anatomy blog today – of two dissected hearts. Typical! http://bit.ly/eI5iHw

Nice wheeze for a floral eulogy here – http://bit.ly/hqaHTd

Bio-cremation “could warp metal pipes and burn crematorium workers” – http://lat.ms/i2d1m3

Bad guys always go to the funeral. That’s the place to arrest them –http://bit.ly/ekDmpj

The Top 20 Most Inappropriate Songs To Play At A Funeralhttp://youtu.be/MkYXS4CDU6Y

Really nice sendoff here culminating in a Viking funeral for the ashes – http://bit.ly/gugn2j

My Big Fat Gypsy Funeral? I’d like to see this – http://bit.ly/eYplL0

Malidoma Some and the power of ritual. A great man. Catch him here: http://bit.ly/eY9h8T

“Trad Brit stiff-upper lip has melted into a wobbling lower one.” Is modern grief incontinent? http://bit.ly/hXrfKA

Click on ‘Progressive Conservatism Project’ at the Demos website and you’ll get this: ‘That page could not be found’ !!!

“The great thing about being old is that you don’t give a bugger about people’s opinions anymore.” Dolly Frankel.

Very good booklet here from cancer.net spelling out for terminal patients their end-of-life options – http://bit.ly/fflu8r

“E’body wants a good death but not a moment too soon, but they don’t have the language to ask for it.” http://bit.ly/g3JWCW

“I knew something was terribly wrong with my marriage when I planned my husband’s funeral.” Great first line! http://bit.ly/eDVnEY

“Webcast funerals are dehumanizing – the necessity of human contact requires the physical presence of mourners.”http://bit.ly/eUYVQT

A classic illustration of the systemic incapability of corporate FDs to provide a good service – http://wapo.st/gh1pMf

Would the sale of Bretby crematorium amount to ‘privatising death’? Well, it’s a good question – http://bit.ly/ekH9jp

’26 babies buried together in a wooden box along with unidentified limbs and bones.’ They do this in the US. Shame!!http://huff.to/gaBdyu

Teacher makes her final journey in her VW camper van. Touching story, this – http://bit.ly/faIUHh

‘So recently directing medical care, now we are awkward bystanders.’ Hugely humane doctor’s response to death –http://nyti.ms/hbx8iC

RIP trolling. New to me (but maybe not to you) – http://bit.ly/hf2ikY

What’s responsible reportage and what’s voyeuristic grief porn?http://bit.ly/hIehDs

Mourning glory – the Banshee. Real or myth? Good stuff here –http://bit.ly/gY7nH4

The family is dead? 368 direct descendants at funeral of L’pool matriarch – 17 lims followed the hearse – http://bit.ly/hq6rMz

A funeral at a rugby ground. Great venue, great sendoff –http://bit.ly/gBs9F1

2 biggest comps you can pay an FD: You look nothing like an undertaker; this place is nothing like a funeral home –http://bit.ly/eKUEVm

Some very touching condolence messages on this online memorial site – http://bit.ly/e68jq3

Interesting reflections by ASD folk on weddings and funerals –http://bit.ly/eJyc8d

Great story here + pics: the funeral of racehorse Man o’ War, embalmed (23 gals) and casketed – http://bit.ly/idcYp0

StNeotsFunerals Andrew Hickson

by GoodFunerals

Our new Funeral Price Estimator is up and running online. Open and honest and proud of it.http://www.kingfisherfunerals.co.uk/costs.html

US undertaker offers end-of-life workshops. I like this.http://bit.ly/erO8zM

Love this irresistible free offer from the Neptune Society –http://bit.ly/i86PaI

‘After my sister died I went through her computer and deleted everything questionable so my parents wouldn’t find it.’http://bit.ly/fgqYzN

Online memorial site of the day: last-memories.com. Great twinkly backgrounds. And it’s free! http://bit.ly/fC1V7y

Oh dear, SCI in the doo-doo again. Are these big corps systemically inept? http://bit.ly/fPq7mh

Good piece in the HuffPo here on end-of-life planning –http://huff.to/gqZDUF

DIY suicide causes horrible death, claims EXIT. Time to legalise? http://bit.ly/ffDoI1

Oz police shut the pubs when there’s an Aborigine funeral in town. Racist? http://bit.ly/eIrtbE

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