Image from Threnody’s sample CD

We recently passed on a BBC news report about a pioneering choir in Wales which has been established to bring live singing to funerals here. We have now tracked down its founder, Tim Clark. Here he tells us in his own words more about his exciting and valuable project which, the GFG hopes, will inspire the formation of many other such choirs. 

Posted by Tim Clark

Big thanks to Charles Cowling and Richard Honeysett for inviting me to post in this hallowed place.

I’m a secular funeral celebrant in North Wales. People who don’t want congregational hymns plus organ (“that would sound too much like church; he didn’t like church!”) have been saying to me that it’s a pity there’s no live singing, either to listen to or to join in with. There seems to be no tradition of choral singing at crematoria, at least not round here. (Is there round your way? I doubt it, but do correct me if I’m wrong.)

I have a view that we should try to get as many funerals (as opposed to committals) as possible out of crems and into somewhere with more time and space. Until we do so, at least Threnody may be able to help stretch the boundaries of a crem funeral a bit, enrich the proceedings. We hope so.

This is how it developed. I’m a member of Bangor Community Choir, which is part of the Natural Voice thing (no auditions, you don’t have to be able to read music, and certainly not to sight-read.) In my capacity as a celebrant I visited a family recently and the bereaved people were saying “pity we can’t sing…,” I thought “Well, I know some people who can sing…” They already sing at charity fundraisers (including the wonderful WaterAid’s “Sing for Water”), at local events, and every week just for the pleasure of it.

I put it to them. I said “We’ll make literally no money; we might get travel paid; I’ve no idea what the uptake will be, if any; it’ll be a lot of work and time, because we’ll need to learn new songs; it’ll be crems, gravesides, village halls, wherever.” The response was splendid; these people are committed to the idea of providing a service at an important time in people’s lives. And they just love to sing.

Nineteen people have stayed the course and are now ready to go. Men and women at a growth point for better, more fulfilling funerals – I salute them. We’ve rehearsed in a chapel, two crems and a village hall.

Music taps into our deepest feelings; we want to help bring that to people in our community by taking live music into all kinds of funerals in all kinds of locations. Music can help to heal us, if we let it. And most people like a good sing!

Internally, we’ve tried to have a co-operative approach; it’s not (much as I admire him) a Gareth Malone thing. We try to decide matters as a group but obviously, someone (me) has to organize and nag a bit. We’ve been coached by Pauline Down, leader of Bangor Community Choir, and Colin Douglas, another local teacher and arranger. We couldn’t have done it without them. Other choir members take on bits of leadership and directional work as needed, which I think is very important.

Each of us has to be confident in our own parts. We sing soprano, alto, tenor and bass, a capella, and our availability will vary; this means we expect that sometimes there might be 16 of us, sometimes eight, so we can’t get away with following the others, as you do in a big choir (well, as I did, anyway!)

We are a community group, so it’s not going to sound as polished as the Treorchy Male Voice Choir. But I think it will sound better than (I hope you don’t think I’m being cruel here) twelve elderly people mostly not singing “Abide With Me,” to an organ and a minister. Point being, those 12 people can join in with us, and we’re there with them and for them.

We don’t have a faith- or a no-faith position, we’re not exclusively a Christian choir, a Humanist choir or any other such label. We feel that what matters is not the differences between people’s beliefs, but their common, human need to mourn those who have died, and to honour their lives. We’ll sing for any kind of funeral.

At the practical level, we sometimes hear an argument that, I feel, slightly misses the point: “People only want music with which they are familiar, a song that meant something to the family and the one they’ve lost. Popular songs, on a CD.”

But we’re not trying to replace that music; we’re seeking to add singing to the ceremony. So have your CD. In addition, Threnody can sing: at the committal; any time during the ceremony where music might fit or be needed; any time (if it is a “known” song) the congregation want to join in. Threnody can sing ‘amen’ after some important words, can sing a farewell at the end, can ask for peace, can sing praises.

We sing of grief, consolation and hope; of peace, of farewell; of the support of friends and of our elemental identity with the natural world; we sing hymns and songs, chants and rounds.

If, as I hope, you want to get something like this going in your area, if it doesn’t already exist, snuggle up to your nearest community choir, especially if they already sing songs from around the world, songs with power and meaning – as opposed to “Da Doo Ron Ron.” (Great song, but not our thing!)

Let’s spread a virus: community singing for funerals in the community.

One of the great funeral songs of all time — Big Bird sings It’s Not Easy Being Green at the memorial of puppeteer Jim Henson, creator of the Muppets, Sesame Street and a whole lot besides. 

They rarely come as touching as this. Hankies out, please!

We’re taking a break from Gambo this evening and posting some of the most ravishing and poignant farewell music ever written. This is on the prompting of one of our leading commenters, Gloria Mundi, who has always loved it best, and was prompted to scale the walls of the heavily defended GFG-Batesville Tower and deliver her request by means of a cleft stick having just heard David Attenborough choose it as one of his Desert Island Discs (because David is a serial fareweller on account of constantly setting off on close encounters with exotic brutes). You’ll be pleased to know that we offered Gloria a little sit-down and a nice cup of tea before ejecting her into the gathering dusk and the rush-hour traffic.

How very much more appropriate for a funeral than My Way. Hats off to the Professor of Pop! Also to celebrant Karen Imms, who helped a family find this excellent song.

When somebody loves you
It’s no good unless he loves you all the way
Happy to be near you
When you need someone to cheer you all the way

[Chorus:]
Taller than the tallest tree is
That’s how it’s got to feel
Deeper than the deep blue sea is
That’s how deep it goes if it’s real

When somebody needs you
It’s no good unless he needs you all the way
Through the good or lean years
And for all the in-between years come what may

[Bridge:]
Who knows where the road will lead us
Only a fool would say
But if you’ll let me love you
It’s for sure I’m gonna love you all the way all the way

Scipio Africanus (1702 – 21 December 1720) was a slave born to unknown parents from West Africa. Very little is known of his life. He was the servant of  Charles William Howard, 7th Earl of Suffolk. Scipio lived in the Great House in Henbury, near Bristol. He died there aged, according to his headstone, eighteen.

I who was Born a PAGAN and a SLAVE
Now sweetly sleep a CHRISTIAN in my Grave
What tho’ my hue was dark my SAVIOR’S sight
Shall Change this darkness into radiant Light
Such grace to me my Lord on earth has given
To recommend me to my Lord in heaven
Whose glorious second coming here I wait
With saints and Angels him to celebrate

Bristol-based reggae band Black Roots, sang about him:

Shadows are falling and I’m running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for awhile

If I leave you it doesn’t mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for awhile

When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for while

There’s a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Sometimes when you’re doing simple things around the house
Maybe you’ll think of me and smile

You know I’m tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
Keep me in your heart for while

Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams
Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes keep the fires lit
And I will be right next to you

Engine driver’s headed north to Pleasant Stream
Keep me in your heart for while

These wheels keep turning but they’re running out of steam
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Keep me in your heart for while

Lush, lovely, accessible. Do people associate it too closely with TV’s Vicar of Dibley? We don’t know, we never watched it.

Paul Gambaccini presented his Desert Island Death Discs at the Southbank Deathfest.

He could easily have done this without trying — chosen a few and spoken about them off the cuff. But he didn’t. He’d done lots of research and thinking and he’d written lots of script. He is a conscientious, admirable man.

He talked of how he went to Kenny Everett’s funeral — a Catholic requiem mass. He just couldn’t see Kenny he knew in it. But there was clearly much about it that had impressed him, and he talked of how he wished there was a serious secular ritual to match. He seems not to be a fan of the celebration of life tendency.

Back to the music. He’d read lots of surveys and scrunched the stats, and he gave us the people’s top ten. He speculated on why these songs get chosen — so many of them have only a tangential relevance to death. Are they chosen for the entertainment of the survivors or to express the dead person’s personality? Perhaps it’s just about how they make you feel.

He interspersed the nation’s favourites with some of his own, and we’ll ‘play’ some of those this week.

Here’s one.   Beth Nielsen Chapman’s Sand and Water

All alone I didn’t like the feeling
All alone I sat and cried
All alone I had to find some meaning
In the center of the pain I felt inside

All alone I came into this world
All alone I will someday die
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water, and a million years gone by

I will see you in the light of a thousand suns
I will hear you in the sound of the waves
I will know you when I come, as we all will come
Through the doors beyond the grave

All alone I heal this heart of sorrow
All alone I raise this child
Flesh and bone, he’s just
Bursting towards tomorrow
And his laughter fills my world and wears your smile

I will see you in the light of a thousand suns
I will hear you in the sound of the waves
I will know you when I come, as we all will come
Through the doors beyond the grave

All alone I came into this world
All alone I will someday die
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water and a million years gone by

Posted by Vale

An old song in a modern version by Joe Brown. He sang it, memorably, at the close of the tribute concert for George Harrison in 2002.

Though the days are long
Twilight sings a song
Of a happiness that used to be
Soon my eyes will close (soon my eyes will close)
Soon I’ll find repose
And in dreams, you’re always near to me

I’ll see you in my dreams
Hold you in my dreams
Someone took you out of my arms
Still, I feel the thrill of your charms
Lips that once were mine
Tender eyes that shine
They will light our way tonight
I’ll see you in my dreams

In the dreary gray
Of another day
You are far away and I am blue
Still I hope and pray (still I hope and pray)
Through each weary day
For it brings the night and dreams of you

I’ll see you in my dreams
Hold you in my dreams
Someone took you out of my arms
Still, I feel the thrill of your charms
Lips that once were mine
Tender eyes that shine
They will light our way tonight
I’ll see you in my dreams
They will light our way tonight
I’ll see you in my dreams
Hmmm….

Good night sweetheart, till we meet tomorrow
Good night sweetheart, sleep will banish sorrow
Tears and parting may make us forlorn
But with the dawn, a new day is born (so I’ll say)
Good night sweetheart, tho’ I’m not beside you
Good night sweetheart, still my love will guide you
Dreams enfold you, in each one I’ll hold you
Good night sweetheart, good night

Good night sweetheart, till we meet tomorrow
Good night sweetheart, sleep will banish sorrow
Tears and parting may make us forlorn
But with the dawn, a new day is born
(so I’ll say) Good night sweetheart, tho’ I’m not beside you
Good night sweetheart, still my love will guide you
Dreams enfold you, in each one I’ll hold you
Good night sweetheart, good night