The Good Funeral Guide

We’re taking a break from Gambo this evening and posting some of the most ravishing and poignant farewell music ever written. This is on the prompting of one of our leading commenters, Gloria Mundi, who has always loved it best, and was prompted to scale the walls of the heavily defended GFG-Batesville Tower and deliver her request by means of a cleft stick having just heard David Attenborough choose it as one of his Desert Island Discs (because David is a serial fareweller on account of constantly setting off on close encounters with exotic brutes). You’ll be pleased to know that we offered Gloria a little sit-down and a nice cup of tea before ejecting her into the gathering dusk and the rush-hour traffic.

How very much more appropriate for a funeral than My Way. Hats off to the Professor of Pop! Also to celebrant Karen Imms, who helped a family find this excellent song.

When somebody loves you
It’s no good unless he loves you all the way
Happy to be near you
When you need someone to cheer you all the way

[Chorus:]
Taller than the tallest tree is
That’s how it’s got to feel
Deeper than the deep blue sea is
That’s how deep it goes if it’s real

When somebody needs you
It’s no good unless he needs you all the way
Through the good or lean years
And for all the in-between years come what may

[Bridge:]
Who knows where the road will lead us
Only a fool would say
But if you’ll let me love you
It’s for sure I’m gonna love you all the way all the way

Scipio Africanus (1702 – 21 December 1720) was a slave born to unknown parents from West Africa. Very little is known of his life. He was the servant of  Charles William Howard, 7th Earl of Suffolk. Scipio lived in the Great House in Henbury, near Bristol. He died there aged, according to his headstone, eighteen.

I who was Born a PAGAN and a SLAVE
Now sweetly sleep a CHRISTIAN in my Grave
What tho’ my hue was dark my SAVIOR’S sight
Shall Change this darkness into radiant Light
Such grace to me my Lord on earth has given
To recommend me to my Lord in heaven
Whose glorious second coming here I wait
With saints and Angels him to celebrate

Bristol-based reggae band Black Roots, sang about him:

Shadows are falling and I’m running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for awhile

If I leave you it doesn’t mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for awhile

When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for while

There’s a train leaving nightly called when all is said and done
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Sometimes when you’re doing simple things around the house
Maybe you’ll think of me and smile

You know I’m tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
Keep me in your heart for while

Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams
Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes keep the fires lit
And I will be right next to you

Engine driver’s headed north to Pleasant Stream
Keep me in your heart for while

These wheels keep turning but they’re running out of steam
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-li-li-lo
Keep me in your heart for while

Keep me in your heart for while

Lush, lovely, accessible. Do people associate it too closely with TV’s Vicar of Dibley? We don’t know, we never watched it.

Paul Gambaccini presented his Desert Island Death Discs at the Southbank Deathfest.

He could easily have done this without trying — chosen a few and spoken about them off the cuff. But he didn’t. He’d done lots of research and thinking and he’d written lots of script. He is a conscientious, admirable man.

He talked of how he went to Kenny Everett’s funeral — a Catholic requiem mass. He just couldn’t see Kenny he knew in it. But there was clearly much about it that had impressed him, and he talked of how he wished there was a serious secular ritual to match. He seems not to be a fan of the celebration of life tendency.

Back to the music. He’d read lots of surveys and scrunched the stats, and he gave us the people’s top ten. He speculated on why these songs get chosen — so many of them have only a tangential relevance to death. Are they chosen for the entertainment of the survivors or to express the dead person’s personality? Perhaps it’s just about how they make you feel.

He interspersed the nation’s favourites with some of his own, and we’ll ‘play’ some of those this week.

Here’s one.   Beth Nielsen Chapman’s Sand and Water

All alone I didn’t like the feeling
All alone I sat and cried
All alone I had to find some meaning
In the center of the pain I felt inside

All alone I came into this world
All alone I will someday die
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water, and a million years gone by

I will see you in the light of a thousand suns
I will hear you in the sound of the waves
I will know you when I come, as we all will come
Through the doors beyond the grave

All alone I heal this heart of sorrow
All alone I raise this child
Flesh and bone, he’s just
Bursting towards tomorrow
And his laughter fills my world and wears your smile

I will see you in the light of a thousand suns
I will hear you in the sound of the waves
I will know you when I come, as we all will come
Through the doors beyond the grave

All alone I came into this world
All alone I will someday die
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water and a million years gone by

Posted by Vale

An old song in a modern version by Joe Brown. He sang it, memorably, at the close of the tribute concert for George Harrison in 2002.

Though the days are long
Twilight sings a song
Of a happiness that used to be
Soon my eyes will close (soon my eyes will close)
Soon I’ll find repose
And in dreams, you’re always near to me

I’ll see you in my dreams
Hold you in my dreams
Someone took you out of my arms
Still, I feel the thrill of your charms
Lips that once were mine
Tender eyes that shine
They will light our way tonight
I’ll see you in my dreams

In the dreary gray
Of another day
You are far away and I am blue
Still I hope and pray (still I hope and pray)
Through each weary day
For it brings the night and dreams of you

I’ll see you in my dreams
Hold you in my dreams
Someone took you out of my arms
Still, I feel the thrill of your charms
Lips that once were mine
Tender eyes that shine
They will light our way tonight
I’ll see you in my dreams
They will light our way tonight
I’ll see you in my dreams
Hmmm….

Good night sweetheart, till we meet tomorrow
Good night sweetheart, sleep will banish sorrow
Tears and parting may make us forlorn
But with the dawn, a new day is born (so I’ll say)
Good night sweetheart, tho’ I’m not beside you
Good night sweetheart, still my love will guide you
Dreams enfold you, in each one I’ll hold you
Good night sweetheart, good night

Good night sweetheart, till we meet tomorrow
Good night sweetheart, sleep will banish sorrow
Tears and parting may make us forlorn
But with the dawn, a new day is born
(so I’ll say) Good night sweetheart, tho’ I’m not beside you
Good night sweetheart, still my love will guide you
Dreams enfold you, in each one I’ll hold you
Good night sweetheart, good night

The Natural Death Handbook, Fifth Edition

A thoroughly updated and revised edition of the Natural Death Centre‘s celebrated handbook. Now presented alongside a new collection of essays on death, dying and funeral practices by doctors, historians, authors, poets, theologians and artists including Richard Barnett, David Jay Brown, Dr Sheila Cassidy, Charles Cowling, Bill Drummond, Stephen Grasso, Maggi Hambling, Graham Harvey, Gary Lachman, Nick Reynolds, and Dignity in Dying.

It’s out in May 2012!

Nick Drake committed suicide in 1974 aged 26.

When the day is done
Down to earth then sinks the sun
Along with everything that was lost and won
When the day is done.

When the day is done
Hope so much your race will be all run
Then you find you jumped the gun
Have to go back where you begun
When the day is done.

When the night is cold
Some get by but some get old
Just to show life’s not made of gold
When the night is cold.

When the bird has flown
Got no-one to call your own
Got no place to call your home
When the bird has flown.

When the game’s been fought
Newspapers blow across the court
Lost matches sooner than you would have thought
Now the game’s been fought.

When the part is through
Seems so very sad for you
Didn’t do the things you meant to do
Now there’s no time to start anew
Now the part is through.

When the day is done
Down to earth then sinks the sun
Along with everything that was lost and won
When the day is done.