The Good Funeral Guide Blog

Being A Man

Friday, 31 January 2014


 

Posted by MC

I am not a new man, according to my wife. To qualify as someone who is even slightly in touch with his feminine side, I would have to empty the kitchen bin. Without being asked.

It’s not an especially good time to be a man. I knew we were in trouble when I saw the latest Southbank event being advertised. It’s called, BEING A MAN.

On a recent news item, someone said that on average two women a week are killed by a current or former male partner. Statistics on male violence in the UK and around the world make distressing reading. After watching Ross Kemp’s TV programme Extreme World about Papua New Guinea earlier this week, I fervently wished that I could have un-watched it. Men did not come out of it well. Even more tragically, nor did the women.

But in the UK, you’re far more likely to die from causes other than diseases (like suicide and road traffic accidents) if you’re a man. Chances are, if you’re attending the funeral of your spouse, you’re a woman.

According to my wife, this means that (yet again) she’s going to be left with all the organising to do. Even though I’ve told her countless times to put me out with the rubbish.

Which is why I’m disappointed with the Coronation Street writers. Not because I’m a funeral celebrant (although Suzie the scary humanist did make me cringe) but because I’m a man.

Now Roy strikes me as a good male role model: hard-working, loyal and kind. Not that I’ve ever watched this programme until recently, or any soap for that matter. I’m watching for professional reasons only. And I’m hoping that Roy is going to get a grip and do us proud.

C’mon Roy! Hayley’s given you a list of instructions. What more do you want?

6 comments on “Being A Man

  1. John

    Tuesday 4th February 2014 at 4:58 pm

    With my organisational skills vs my wifes then it’s a ‘no brainer’ to coin a phrase!

  2. Monday 3rd February 2014 at 5:31 pm

    Do you think the writers should have killed off Roy then to be more statistically accurate’? I feel sorry for Roy – all those women invading his space, and uncharacteristically ‘not listening’ to his wishes/needs, so intent were they, it seemed, on getting Hayley’s list done…the only men were the gruff bearers and they didn’t exactly do themselves proud as ‘new men’ either!

    • MC

      Monday 3rd February 2014 at 6:08 pm

      (Putting to one side that Hayley was originally a man) this story-line got me thinking because the list became a reminder of Hayley’s decision to take her own life. I have conducted quite a few funerals where the person has taken their own life and not once was there a list. However, they weren’t terminally ill. But perhaps a list in these circumstances would add an extra layer to the anguish for anyone, soap or real-life, man or woman.
      But now you’ve got me thinking – in normal circumstances, do more men or more women leave funeral lists?

      • Monday 3rd February 2014 at 6:29 pm

        What an interesting question. I suppose listing to be assertion of control.

        Come on then, who’s got the answer?

  3. MC

    Monday 3rd February 2014 at 11:30 am

    Thanks Vale. It was good to see that Roy did do us proud. And Suzie did as well as she could considering the constraints of a soap plot.

  4. Vale

    Sunday 2nd February 2014 at 9:25 am

    Lovely post MC – more please!

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